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Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Dec 12, 2005

Ridiculous Jokes !

Let's collect all ridiculously funny jokes here 😁
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Here's mine -


Q. Why do Gorillas have big nostrils?

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A. Because they have big fingers πŸ˜€ 😁


-The Big K-
Jerry
Jerry • Dec 13, 2005
lol

fabulous
:hehehe:

i will keep something posted on this thread :wink:
Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Dec 26, 2005
My Mobile Number has changed !

Guys,

My mobile number has changed !

Earlier it was - Nokia 3310....Now it is -Nokia 6610 :hehehe:

-The Big K-
sonienjoys
sonienjoys • Dec 26, 2005
A hen and her 3 little chickens were trying to cross a
busy highway. After great efforts they all managed to
cross it. One of the little ones yells out
happily-"Wow....after so much efforts, all 5 of us
managed to cross"....

Qn. Why does the little one say "all 5 of us" ????

Think a little bit & & . Its easy !

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ANS: BACHCHE HAIN!!!! KUCH BHI BOL DETE HAIN
Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Feb 15, 2006
Good news - Bad News

Doc: β€œI’ve some Good news and some Bad news”



Patient : β€œSo, what's the Good news Doc?”


Doc: β€œWell, they're going to name a disease after you.β€πŸ˜


-The Big K-
sttepz
sttepz • Feb 18, 2006
Q:define true music lover?
ans: a girl is singing in d bathroom while taking bath n a guy near d keyhole is using his EARS. .!😁
Jerry
Jerry • Mar 12, 2006
Top Ten Things Engineering School didn't Teach You

Top Ten Things Engineering School didn't Teach You

  1. There are at least 10 types of capacitors.
  2. Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work.
  3. Not everything works according to the specs in the databook.πŸ˜€
  4. Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you will never use.
  5. Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of your life.
  6. Overtime pay? What overtime pay?
  7. Managers, not engineers, rule the world.
  8. Always try to fix the hardware with software.πŸ˜‰
  9. If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software.
  10. Dilbert is not a comic strip, it's a documentary.
Jerry😁
Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Jun 30, 2006
ridiculous

A man died and went to into the skies. Yamraj met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, 'Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you - we've looked at your life, and your really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?'

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied,
'Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of goons. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the gang. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!'

'I'm impressed,' Yamraj responded, 'When did this happen?'

'About two minutes ago,' came the reply! 😁

-The Big K-
integratdbrains
integratdbrains • Jul 3, 2006
another ..

Engineering viva nightmares!

External: How do u start an engine?
Student: Drrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuu
External: STOP IT!
Student: Drrrruuuuddddhhhhh ddddhhuuuuppppp!!
integratdbrains
integratdbrains • Jul 3, 2006
another..

External:Why is an AC wire thicker than DC wire?
Student:Because the signal goes Up and Downand in DC wire it goes straight....
Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Jul 3, 2006
amazing!

😁 waiting for more !

-The Big K-
crook
crook • Jul 3, 2006
integratdbrains
External:Why is an AC wire thicker than DC wire?
Student:Because the signal goes Up and Downand in DC wire it goes straight....

😁 😁 😁

that was cool
Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Jul 3, 2006
one more

What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

-Mechanical engineers build weapons.

-Civil engineers build targets. 😁

-The Big K-
Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Jul 3, 2006
span bamming - ban spamming

Can't help but this is really funny -

Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said.
Manager: "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job"
Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got nine questions correct. This being Ireland and me being Irish I should get the job!"
Manager: "We have made our decisions not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed."
Murphy: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"
Manager: "Simple, the American put down on question #5, "I don't know.", You put down "Neither do I."

-The Big K-
Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Jul 12, 2006
one more ;-)

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone:
"Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to ?"
"No" replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, "you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know who YOU are talking to,you IDIOT ?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God!" replied the trainee and put down the phone. 😁

-The Big K-
Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Jul 13, 2006
expand ...

[​IMG]

Guess Peter went on to become a CrazyEngineer

Enjoy!

-The Big K-
crook
crook • Jul 13, 2006
Guess Peter went on to become a CrazyEngineer
Yesss !! 😁 😁


CE rocks


Crook
aashima
aashima • Jul 13, 2006
now my turn...

once a teacher giving away the lecture asks a question : if ram is five times older than his son then tell me how many litres of water is there in the water tank of my house?
a student replied : 80 litres mam.
teacher : correct !!! but how did u calculate?
student : because my mom cooked beans in the breakfast !!! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜‰
psycho
psycho • Jul 16, 2006
Wanna laugh? Or Wanna read serious stuff? Check my inbox.

Hello people, its psycho out here. New to this forum. I'll post here few funny and serious mails which I receive, as I want to share it with all people out here. Do reply and let me know if you like my thread, otherwise I'll close it. And, admin sorry if I happen to break any rule unintentionally.
psycho
psycho • Jul 16, 2006
*Honorable MEN*

*Honorable MEN*
*
Must Read for Every Man and of course Woman (to understand man) *

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a man;and
if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river,
his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked,
"Why are you crying?"


The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the
axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this
your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?"
the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?"
the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to
keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the
riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord
again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with *Mallika Sherawat*. "Is
this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.
You see, if I had said 'no' to *Mallika Sherawat*, You would have come up
with *Bipasha Basu*. Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with
my *wife*. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I
am a poor man, and am not able to take care
of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Mallika Sherawat."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and
honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it! - *"WE HONORABLE MEN!!!!!!"***
Kaustubh Katdare
Kaustubh Katdare • Jul 16, 2006
welcome!

Welcome to the board, psycho! You are not breaking any rules. Do introduce yourself in the Introductions thread. We don't really believe in setting up rules but it would be nice investing your time reading (Click) -> CE-Common Sense

-The Big K-
psycho
psycho • Jul 16, 2006
cannibals

Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team
now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for
something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees". The cannibals
promise not to trouble the other employees.


Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard,
and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has
disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals
disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After
the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of
you idiots ate the developer?"

One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the
cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders,
managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU
ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a person
who is working..........
psycho
psycho • Jul 17, 2006
A walk in jungle..... Really funny.....

Two friends are walking in jungle. Suddenly a tiger appears in the distance running towards them. One friend pulls the pair of "NIKES" out of his bag and quickly puts them on.
With a surprising look, the other friend says,"you don't really think you can out run that tiger with those?"
"I don't need to out run the tiger", his friend replied calmly,"I just need to run faster than you."
psycho
psycho • Jul 17, 2006
Wife and Mistress.....

A man wanted to determine if both, his wife and mistress were faithful to him. So he decided to send them on the same cruise, then later question each one on the other's behaviour.
When his wife returned he asked her about the people on the trip in general, then casually asked her about the specific behaviour of the passenger he knew to be his mistress.
"she flirt with nearly every man on the ship", his wife reported.
The disheartened man then rendezvoused with his cheating mistress to ask her the same question about his wife.
"she was a real lady." his mistress said.
"how so?", the encouraged man asked.
"she came on board with her husband and never left his side."
psycho
psycho • Jul 17, 2006
Hey you didn't replied to my last mail !
Well, let me make your job easy. Just go through the lounge, and you'll find there are couple of threads for puzzles! Hope you have noticed that, and ignored it. And, you wanted your thread to be famous thats why you deleted my thread and you posted my jokes into yours. Why you are jealous of me? Why? Grow up. Grow up. Why you moved my posts into your thread? Cause, already you've started jokes thread and want me to put my jokes in your thread? Then, why you don't follow the same rule for puzzles section! Cause you want replies? Even you didn't replied to my last mail, cause you were wrong. Why you are acting so? Whats wrong with you? Expecting your answer.
crook
crook • Jul 18, 2006
psycho
Hey you didn't replied to my last mail !
Well, let me make your job easy. Just go through the lounge, and you'll find there are couple of threads for puzzles! Hope you have noticed that, and ignored it. And, you wanted your thread to be famous thats why you deleted my thread and you posted my jokes into yours. Why you are jealous of me? Why? Grow up. Grow up. Why you moved my posts into your thread? Cause, already you've started jokes thread and want me to put my jokes in your thread? Then, why you don't follow the same rule for puzzles section! Cause you want replies? Even you didn't replied to my last mail, cause you were wrong. Why you are acting so? Whats wrong with you? Expecting your answer.
whom are you talking to psycho? I don't understand you. πŸ˜•
*bumping old thread*

Really very very funny. πŸ˜€
Manish Goyal
Manish Goyal • Jul 3, 2010
nICE
very funny jokes πŸ˜€
crazybuoy
crazybuoy • Jul 15, 2010
Too beautiful joke.
Policeman: You can't park here.
Driver: Why not?
Policeman: Read that sign.
Driver: I did. It says,"Fine for parking," so I parked.
😁😁
crazybuoy
crazybuoy • Jul 17, 2010
Funny dear.
Pensu
Pensu • Jul 17, 2010
Nobody in this world can stop you from falling in love....but 2 things can do that....

Mummy's slap and Daddy's belt....!!
crazybuoy
crazybuoy • Jul 17, 2010
Yah i agree with you.
Who invented the first aeroplane that didn't fly?

Orville and Wilbur Wrong.
Ankita Katdare
Ankita Katdare • Oct 1, 2010
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Ankita Katdare
Ankita Katdare • Oct 1, 2010
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated,
"This is where your problem is".

The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges.
The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark $1
Knowing where to put it $49,999
It was paid in full and the engineer retired again in peace.

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