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There was a good old barber in Bangalore . One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money.
The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......
Scroll down for answer... . . . . . . .. . . . ...
..
...
.. A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of Forwarded mail mentioning about free hair cut with the Google map showing the shop.
I just wish slide rules replaced calculators 😀 . I'm yet to see a slide rule!
In Andhra 'Varsity in '57 only slide rules were there. The engineers used to go about with the slide rule hanging from its scabbard on the left like a sword. We use to whip it out at the drop of a hat to start a calculation. I had three. One simple, the other for power calculations and a 5 inch one for pocket use. I love them. We still use such devices(custom made)for chemical engineering calculations.
PwSlackwrote in CR4: Quote: A Manager, a Mechanical Engineer and a Controls Engineer are going off to a new site in a car. The car gets to the top of a slope, and as it drops down the slope it becomes apparent that the brakes have failed. They negotiate the bend at the bottom - just - on two wheels and a door-handle and rattle to a halt in a hedge, shaken, though not stirred.
The Manager is the first to speak. "Well, I'm going to call a meeting, get everyone round the table, and run a cause-and-effect session to analyse what happened and see if we can prevent a recurrence."
"Fine", says the Mechanical Engineer, grabbing the toolbox out of the boot/trunk. "While you're doing that I'm going to fix the brakes."
The Controls Engineer speaks last. "Well, I think we ought to push it back up the hill and have another go!" Endquote
Doorman wrote in the same thread: Quote: You know you're an engineer when
The salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions.
You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling.
You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines.
You have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
You really know what https:// stands for.
You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
You still own a slide rule and you know how to use it.
You think a pocket protector is a fashion accessory.
You window shop at Radio Shack.
Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work.
Your wrist watch has more computing power than a 300 MHz pentium.
You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck admiring the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room. Endquote
1. At least one of the twins is born evil 😛
2. While diffusing a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one. 👎
3. A Hero will show no pain while getting beaten up. But will show pain when the actress is trying to clean his wound. 😲
4. A policeman can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty. 😕
5. (Best of all) If you start dancing on streets, everyone you meet will know the dancing steps and the lyrics of song. Don't know from where the background music appears! 😨
If animals have Facebook, these are most likely to be their Status Updates, Cockroach: "Managed to skip from some one’s foot step... Man, I lead a dangerous lifestyle!" Cat: "My 7th child is asking who is her dad. What shall I tell her??? I don’t even remember" Mosquito: "I am HIV positive... this is all due to wrong sucking!!!" Chicken: "If tomorrow I didn't updating my status, then I'm being served at KFC. Love you all" ♥ Pig: "Oh gosh! They throw the gossips that I am spreading flu... WTF!!" Goat: "Friends, don’t go out, Eid is coming soon" 😀 😛
1. When People see you Lying Down, With Ur Eyes Closed, they Ask:
"Are You Sleeping?"
(No! I'm Trying to Die?)
2. When It's Raining & Someone Notices You going Out, they Ask:
"Are You Going Out In this Rain?"
(No, In The Next one.)
3. Your Friend Calls on your Landline:
"Where are you?"
(At the Bus Stop!)
4. They See you Wet Coming from the Bathroom:
"Did You Just Have A Bath?"
(No, I Fell In the Toilet Bowl !)
5. You are Standing Right In Front Of the Elevator On The Ground Floor & they Ask:
"Going Up?"
(No, No, I'm Waiting for My Apartment to Come Down & Get Me.)
6. You Bring A Bunch Of Flowers for your Sweetheart, they Ask:
"Are those Flowers?"
(No Baby! They are Carrots.)
7. You are On The Queue to Buy Tickets at the Cinema, A Friend Saw You & Asks,
"What are you Doing Here?"
(I'm Here to Pay My School Fees.) 😛 😁
I trust there is nothing inappropriate here:
ते पण एक वय असतं
दिवसभर पाळण्यात झोपायचं
सगळ्यांकडून कौतुक करून घेण्याचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
हाफ चड्डीत गावभर फिरायचं
आईची नजर चुकवून डब्यातलं खायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
मुलींच्या स्क्रॅपबुक्स भरायचं
आणि तरीही त्यांच्याशी बोलायला लाजायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
घरी खोटं बोलून पिक्चरला जायचं
आवाज म्युट करून रात्री एफटीव्ही पहायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
आता छोकरी नंतर नोकरीच्या मागे लागायचं
पॅकेजचा विचार करत B.E.ची स्वप्नं पहायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
लग्नाच्या 'डोमिनियन स्टेटस' आधी तारूण्यातला टोटल इंडिपेंडंस आठवायचं
आई आणि बायकोत कितीही भांडणं झाली तरी आपण मात्र शांत रहायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
प्रिमियम्सच्या चिंतेत रात्रभर जागायचं
शेअर मार्केटच्या तालावर आपल्या इन्व्हेस्टमेंट्सना नाचवायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
आपल्या मुलांचे सगळे हट्ट पुरवायचं
त्यांच्या साठी स्थळ शोधताना आपलं तारूण्य आठवायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
सगळ्या जबाबदार्या पार पाडल्यावर गॅलरीत पाय पसरून बसण्याचं
आभाळाकडे पाहत फक्त यमाच्या निर्देशाची वाट पाहत बसण्याचं -
प्रत्येक क्षण अपल्याला काही ना काही शिकवत असतो.
बिनधास्त रहायचे
I trust there is nothing inappropriate here:
ते पण एक वय असतं
दिवसभर पाळण्यात झोपायचं
सगळ्यांकडून कौतुक करून घेण्याचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
हाफ चड्डीत गावभर फिरायचं
आईची नजर चुकवून डब्यातलं खायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
मुलींच्या स्क्रॅपबुक्स भरायचं
आणि तरीही त्यांच्याशी बोलायला लाजायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
घरी खोटं बोलून पिक्चरला जायचं
आवाज म्युट करून रात्री एफटीव्ही पहायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
आता छोकरी नंतर नोकरीच्या मागे लागायचं
पॅकेजचा विचार करत B.E.ची स्वप्नं पहायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
लग्नाच्या 'डोमिनियन स्टेटस' आधी तारूण्यातला टोटल इंडिपेंडंस आठवायचं
आई आणि बायकोत कितीही भांडणं झाली तरी आपण मात्र शांत रहायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
प्रिमियम्सच्या चिंतेत रात्रभर जागायचं
शेअर मार्केटच्या तालावर आपल्या इन्व्हेस्टमेंट्सना नाचवायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
आपल्या मुलांचे सगळे हट्ट पुरवायचं
त्यांच्या साठी स्थळ शोधताना आपलं तारूण्य आठवायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
सगळ्या जबाबदार्या पार पाडल्यावर गॅलरीत पाय पसरून बसण्याचं
आभाळाकडे पाहत फक्त यमाच्या निर्देशाची वाट पाहत बसण्याचं -
प्रत्येक क्षण अपल्याला काही ना काही शिकवत असतो.
बिनधास्त रहायचे
My Marathi is non existent!
The poem passes the censor board without objection 😁
By the way, did you understand what is written?
Very "cool" poem. You practically know its meaning 😀
bioramani
I trust there is nothing inappropriate here:
ते पण एक वय असतं
दिवसभर पाळण्यात झोपायचं
सगळ्यांकडून कौतुक करून घेण्याचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
हाफ चड्डीत गावभर फिरायचं
आईची नजर चुकवून डब्यातलं खायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
मुलींच्या स्क्रॅपबुक्स भरायचं
आणि तरीही त्यांच्याशी बोलायला लाजायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
घरी खोटं बोलून पिक्चरला जायचं
आवाज म्युट करून रात्री एफटीव्ही पहायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
आता छोकरी नंतर नोकरीच्या मागे लागायचं
पॅकेजचा विचार करत B.E.ची स्वप्नं पहायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
लग्नाच्या 'डोमिनियन स्टेटस' आधी तारूण्यातला टोटल इंडिपेंडंस आठवायचं
आई आणि बायकोत कितीही भांडणं झाली तरी आपण मात्र शांत रहायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
प्रिमियम्सच्या चिंतेत रात्रभर जागायचं
शेअर मार्केटच्या तालावर आपल्या इन्व्हेस्टमेंट्सना नाचवायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
आपल्या मुलांचे सगळे हट्ट पुरवायचं
त्यांच्या साठी स्थळ शोधताना आपलं तारूण्य आठवायचं
ते पण एक वय असतं
सगळ्या जबाबदार्या पार पाडल्यावर गॅलरीत पाय पसरून बसण्याचं
आभाळाकडे पाहत फक्त यमाच्या निर्देशाची वाट पाहत बसण्याचं -
प्रत्येक क्षण अपल्याला काही ना काही शिकवत असतो.
बिनधास्त रहायचे
Brahmi became 😨 frustrated after seeing all of them tie up together and prepared to fight. Now the ☕ Battle begins Brahmi vs All time super Hero's. Hope Brahmi wins this battle.All the best Brahmi. 👍😁
Brahmi became 😨 frustrated after seeing all of them tie up together and prepared to fight. Now the ☕ Battle begins Brahmi vs All time super Hero's. Hope Brahmi wins this battle.All the best Brahmi. 👍😁
Brahmi's Master is the Thy One & Only, Thy Great, His Holiness, His Greatness, God SuperStar Rajinikanth!!! 😀
I think there is no requirement of rajini sir to interfere. 😀 The war had actually ended; altering the odds, see what's happened to Spidey's position, after that war.
I'm sure this happens with everyone:
When you try to find something in your room, you'll never get it.
And when your Mother comes, she will find it immediately. :O
I'm sure this happens with everyone:
When you try to find something in your room, you'll never get it.
And when your Mother comes, she will find it immediately. :O
Customer: “Hi, my son says that I have Spartans on my laptop and I should bring it to you guys.”
Tech Support: “…Ma’am? Spartans?” 😨
Customer: “Yes, I called my son at school and told him that screens keep popping up all the time, and he said that I have Spartans.”
Me: “Oh! You mean Trojans! That’s a possibility; let me run this analyzer on your laptop real quick and we’ll see what’s going on.”
Customer: “Young man, my son is in college and he says it has Spartans. You just stand here in a little uniform and make minimum wage. I think my son knows what he is talking about.”
Tech Support: “You’re right ma’am. I was hoping to run a diagnostic and find out that it wasn’t Spartans, but just by looking at the login screen, I can tell that you probably have about 300 of the little guys running around.”
Customer: “300?! Is that bad?”
Tech Support: “It’s horrible. They cram themselves into a bottleneck and kill wave after wave of data, until there is a wall of dead programs blocking any more traffic through your computer.”
Customer: “Oh, that just figures. I’m going to go buy a new computer.”
Tech Support: “Ok, ma’am, I think that would be best.”
Please read the comment after seeing the video 😁
DRAG the cursor here: Posting this video for all CEans, hoping to make them laugh as I feel glad, today I'm completing one month here on CE 😀
Please read the comment after seeing the video 😁
DRAG the cursor here: Posting this video for all CEans, hoping to make them laugh as I feel glad, today I'm completing one month here on CE 😀
That's one of the reasons I quit my software engineering job.
That's one of the reasons I quit my software engineering job.
Drag your mouse here: Congratulations
Hehe. I have experienced that in most of the presentations I have (had to) witnessed, especially the FAQ part. Silence! 😁 Eagerly waiting for a thank you. 😁
(If you are an engineer (C or sane) you will enjoy the solution more)
Quote:
Although you don't have to be an engineer to appreciate this story.
A toothpaste factory had a problem: they sometimes shipped empty boxes, without the tube inside. This was due to the way the production line was set up, and people with experience in designing production lines will tell you how difficult it is to have everything happen with timings so precise that every single unit coming out of it is perfect 100% of the time. Small variations in the environment (which can't be controlled in a cost-effective fashion) mean you must have quality assurance checks smartly distributed across the line so that customers all the way down to the supermarket don't get browned off and buy another product instead.
Understanding how important that was, the CEO of the toothpaste factory got the top people in the company together and they decided to start a new project, in which they would hire an external engineering company to solve their empty boxes problem, as their engineering department was already too stretched to take on any extra effort.
The project followed the usual process: budget and project sponsor allocated, RFP, third-parties selected, and six months (and $8 million) later they had a fantastic solution - on time, on budget, high quality and everyone in the project had a great time. They solved the problem by using precision scales that would sound a bell and flash lights whenever a toothpaste box would weigh less than it should. The line would stop, and someone had to walk over and yank the defective box out of it, pressing another button when done to re-start the line.
A while later, the CEO decides to have a look at the ROI of the project: amazing results! No empty boxes ever shipped out of the factory after the scales were put in place. Very few customer complaints, and they were gaining market share. "That's some money well spent!" - he says, before looking closely at the other statistics in the report.
It turns out, the number of defects picked up by the scales was 0 after three weeks of production use. It should've been picking up at least a dozen a day, so maybe there was something wrong with the report. He filed a bug against it, and after some investigation, the engineers come back saying the report was actually correct. The scales really weren't picking up any defects, because all boxes that got to that point in the conveyor belt were good.
Puzzled, the CEO travels down to the factory, and walks up to the part of the line where the precision scales were installed.
A few feet before the scale, there was a $20 desk fan, blowing the empty boxes out of the belt and into a bin.
"Oh, that," says one of the workers - "one of the guys put it there.......
cause he was tired of walking over..... "every time the bell rang".
Endquote
Good one Ramani sir!!! Heard another version of the same one... 😀
Production engineers with MBA tend to go in for elaborate methods.
One story was about NASA spending quite some time developing a pen to write under zero gravity. The Russians just used a pencil.
There is a device called Vortec air amplifier. One application shown for this is the removal of underweight cigarettes from a conveyor belt which passes below it.
Production engineers with MBA tend to go in for elaborate methods.
One story was about NASA spending quite some time developing a pen to write under zero gravity. The Russians just used a pencil.
There is a device called Vortec air amplifier. One application shown for this is the removal of underweight cigarettes from a conveyor belt which passes below it.
They have said that under that high pressure, pencil tends to break!
They have said that under that high pressure, pencil tends to break!
The pressure inside a space ship/station is near atmospheric. If the astronaut is outside in space suit, the pencil will be in near perfect vacuum. The lead of a common graphite pencil is made of compressed graphite powder. If it is poorly compressed it might disintegrate, though this is very unlikely.
NASA never asked Paul C. Fisher to produce a pen. When the astronauts began to fly, like the Russians, they used pencils, but the leads sometimes broke and became a hazard by floating in the [capsule's] atmosphere where there was no gravity. They could float into an eye or nose or cause a short in an electrical device. In addition, both the lead and the wood of the pencil could burn rapidly in the pure oxygen atmosphere. Paul Fisher realized the astronauts needed a safer and more dependable writing instrument, so in July 1965 he developed the pressurized ball pen, with its ink enclosed in a sealed, pressurized ink cartridge.
NASA programs previously used pencils (for example a 1965 order of mechanical pencils) but because of the substantial dangers that broken-off pencil tips and graphite dust pose in zero gravity to electronics and the flammable nature of the wood present in pencils a better solution was needed. NASA never approached Paul Fisher to develop a pen, nor did Fisher receive any government funding for the pen's development. Fisher invented it independently, and then asked NASA to try it. After the introduction of the AG7 Space Pen, both the American and Soviet (later Russian) space agencies adopted it.
4 Engineers(Civil, Mechanical, Electrical, Software) are traveling in car, mean while something goes wrong with car and doen't stats again. they still remain in car and figuring out the problem
Civil Engineer said: It must be something problem created by road.
Mechenical said: check the engine.
Electrical said: spark plug must blown off.
.
.
Software Engineer said: We should get out of the car and get in, may be it works 😉😛
A man suffered a serious heart attack, while shopping in a store. The
store clerks called 911, when they saw him collapse to the floor. The
paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital, where he had emergency
open heart bypass surgery.
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns, at the
Catholic Hospital he was taken to. A nun was seated next to his bed
holding a clip board loaded with several forms and a pen. She asked him
how he was going to pay for his treatment.
"Do you have health insurance?", she asked.
He replied in a raspy voice, "No health insurance."
The nun asked, "Do you have money in the bank?"
He replied, "No money in the bank."
"Do you have a relative, who could help you with the payments?" asked the
irritated nun.
He said, "I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun."
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, "Nuns are not spinsters!
Nuns are married to God."
The patient replied, "Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law."
There is an incident this summer from my shop. When I was at counter, an educated and well qualified looking customer came to us. He asked if we had cooler blade (fan).
My uncle replied yes. After much bargaining and consideration, he bought one.
Now while leaving, what he did was very amusing. he took a spanner. Removed all nuts and bolts. Separated all blades and hub and put all those parts in his scooter dickey.
Really bookish educated people have no sense how things operate in real life. 👀 I bet he would have had troubling time when he assembled all parts at his home. The cooler might have vibrated a lot! 😁
There is an incident this summer from my shop. When I was at counter, an educated and well qualified looking customer came to us. He asked if we had cooler blade (fan).
My uncle replied yes. After much bargaining and consideration, he bought one.
Now while leaving, what he did was very amusing. he took a spanner. Removed all nuts and bolts. Separated all blades and hub and put all those parts in his scooter dickey.
Really bookish educated people have no sense how things operate in real life. 👀 I bet he would have had troubling time when he assembled all parts at his home. The cooler might have vibrated a lot! 😁
I don't get this... What is the best way he could have acted?
Really bookish educated people have no sense how things operate in real life. 👀 I bet he would have had troubling time when he assembled all parts at his home. The cooler might have vibrated a lot! 😁
That may not true in all cases. May be he is a good mechanic and he believes that he can fix that easily.
@K!r@nS!ngu: The thing cannot be fixed at all. They vibrate if you disassemble and assemble them even once. We have separate workshop to balance these blades.It is a job of a worker and ordinary person like him cannot do it. Interestingly the same person came next day to buy another blade 😁☕
(Halloween is on 31 october, christmas is on 25 december)
Yup. You got it.
silverscorpion
Halloween comes in October (which is the 10th month) and Christmas in December (12th month).
Now, 10 expressed in in Octal numbers, is 12. That's why the confusion! 😀
By the way it is interesting to note that in the Roman Calendar September was the 7th month, October the 8th month , November the 9th month and December the 10th month.
Sept = 7
Oct = 8
Nov = 9
Dec = 10
1. Do you feel lazy to get up early in the morning ?
2. Does a book work as a sleeping pill ?
3. Attend classes only for attendance ?
4. See the calendar for holidays ?
5. Use cell phone in place of a pen ?
If the above is happening to You,
Then... Congratulations!!! 😛
You are perfectly an Engineering student. 😁 😛
PARAPROSDOKIANS: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a
sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a
humorous situation."
For example, "Where there's a will, I want to be in it,"
Ok, so now enjoy!
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and
beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in
a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then
proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is
research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train
stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case
of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a
successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I
stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to
skydive twice.
19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live
with.
20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so
they can't get away.
21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you
hit the target.
24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing
in a garage makes you a car.
27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you look forward to the trip.
28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish
they were.
29. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire
Department usually uses water.
Words of Wisdom "The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse
gets the cheese."
PARAPROSDOKIANS: "Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."
I read this in Wodehouse , don't know if it qualifies ,
A hunter lost his life because of a difference of opinion with a lion. The hunter thought that he had killed the lion, the lion thought that he hadn't . 😁
I read this in Wodehouse , don't know if it qualifies,
A hunter lost his life because of a difference of opinion with a lion. The hunter thought that he had killed the lion, the lion thought that he hadn't . 😁
So like Wodehouse, one of my all time favourite authors. I vote for the quote.
I second John. The problem may typically arise out of defective carburetors. I dream of having facility of upgrading mechanical parts like carburetors. Just like we upgrade the software.
Well in the first move, the laser hit me, then baseball, next I became super kai but hit at the ceiling later the again laser 😔 teased me. I felt distressed and switched on computer, the cursor humiliated me which made me to drink something as I fell. I was very annoyed and was trying to get rid of that and finally trapped it here in CE by pressing image/edit image icon and posting it here. Now I am very happy that I had relieved and laughed a bit watching the things that happened to me on the computer through CE.
You still don't get me. The thing posted by you is neither a video nor an image. What is it called? Can I make one on my PC?
Isn't that a Gif image ? One can create gif animations using photoshop. I think it is also possible to convert some short videos into GIF. Anything special about that particular file that you are talking about. There was a file of a tiger being scared of a bird in this thread too. Are you referring to some other fact about that file ?
Isn't that a Gif image ? One can create gif animations using photoshop. I think it is also possible to convert some short videos into GIF. Anything special about that particular file that you are talking about. There was a file of a tiger being scared of a bird in this thread too. Are you referring to some other fact about that file ?
Whenever an intelligent man makes an important decision, he closes his eyes, thinks a lot, listens to his heart, uses his head and ... finally does what his wife says.
And if any CEan dares to think that this is autobiographical...
I confess: It is.
Whenever an intelligent man makes an important decision, he closes his eyes, thinks a lot, listens to his heart, uses his head and ... finally does what his wife says.
And if any CEan dares to think that this is autobiographical...
I confess: It is.
I don't know. I found it on FB. Meanwhile I was unlucky that day as I came and left in a hurry! Wanted to know more about zero degree absolute section 😀 Appears that he is an interesting guy 😀
A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind. Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"
Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"
Student: "OK. So I’d like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as they are. If you can't give me the correct answer, however, you'll have to give me an "A".
Professor: "Hmmmm, alright. So what’s the question?"
Student: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? "
The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student's failing mark into an "A" as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.
The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all afternoon, but still can’t get the answer. So finally he calls in a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really tough question to answer: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? "
To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment) , all the students immediately raise their hands.
"All right" says the professor, and asks his favourite student to answer.
"It's quite easy, sir" says the student. "You see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. And your wife's lover failed his exam but you've just given him an "A", which is neither legal nor logical !!!!!!"
A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind. Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"
Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"
Student: "OK. So I’d like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as they are. If you can't give me the correct answer, however, you'll have to give me an "A".
Professor: "Hmmmm, alright. So what’s the question?"
Student: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? "
The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can't crack the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student's failing mark into an "A" as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.
The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all afternoon, but still can’t get the answer. So finally he calls in a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really tough question to answer: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? "
To the professor's surprise (and embarrassment) , all the students immediately raise their hands.
"All right" says the professor, and asks his favourite student to answer.
"It's quite easy, sir" says the student. "You see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. And your wife's lover failed his exam but you've just given him an "A", which is neither legal nor logical !!!!!!"
One of my friends came across this in a matrimonial site:
Hello,
I am Prasad. Intro of myself is as follows:-
I have my retail medicine shop named as "Aryangla Medical Stores" which is very famous in Satara district since 1962... The shop has established by my grandpa in 1962 and since last two years grandpa gave all responsibilities of business on my shoulder as sole proprietorship...!
I like raeding...I like to do some Poetries also..I like to write my thoughts...!
I like to go to long drive...I am various curious😁 about my own clothes whichever I waer daily...!
Drama is my hobby. I like drama to play and to watch..I have my own group named as "SAPTARANG KALA ACADEMY" in Satara which organises professional dramas for Satarkar's..We have 1000 members for our group in Satara. I am president of this group.. ..! I am also in committee of "PANCHAM GROUP",Satara which organises classical vocal & instrumental events for Satarkar's...!
I am personally adjustable in nature. Loving and kind in nature...! I give values to God, relations and my profession, my business. I am personally passionate kind of person....!
In choices of food I am very much tasty...!😁 I like to eat vegetarian food, rich and quality food...!
Thank You...!
Three men were standing side-by-side using the urinal.
The first man finished,
zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands ...
clear up to his elbows...
He used about 20 paper towels before he finished.
He turned to the other two men and commented:
"I graduated from Harvard and they taught us to be clean."
The second man finished,
zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers,
grabbed one paper towel and commented:
"I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."
The third man zipped up and as he was walking out the door
he had a smirk on his face and said:
"I don't know about you guys, but where I went to college, they taught us not to piss on our hands."
When a guy goes into the bathroom, which urinal does he pick? Most guys are familiar with the International Choice of Urinal Protocol. Itâs discussed at length elsewhere, but the basic premise is that the first guy picks an end urinal, and every subsequent guy chooses the urinal which puts him furthest from anyone else peeing. At least one buffer urinal is required between any two guys or Awkwardness ensues. Letâs take a look at the efficiency of this protocol at slotting everyone into acceptable urinals. For some numbers of urinals, this protocol leads to efficient placement. If there are five urinals, they fill up like this:
The first two guys take the end and the third guy takes the middle one. At this point, the urinals are jammed â no further guys can pee without Awkwardness. But itâs pretty efficient; over 50% of the urinals are used. On the other hand, if there are seven urinals, they donât fill up so efficiently:
There should be room for four guys to pee without Awkwardness, but because the third guy followed the protocol and chose the middle urinal, there are no options left for the fourth guy (he presumably pees in a stall or the sink). For eight urinals, the protocol works better:
So a row of eight urinals has a better packing efficiency than a row of seven, and a row of five is better than either. This leads us to a question: what is the general formula for the number of guys who will fill in N urinals if they all come in one at a time and follow the urinal protocol? One could write a simple recursive program to solve it, placing one guy at a time, but thereâs also a closed-form expression. If f(n) is the number of guys who can use n urinals, f(n) for n>2 is given by:
The protocol is vulnerable to producing inefficient results for some urinal counts. Some numbers of urinals encourage efficient packing, and others encourage sparse packing. If you graph the packing efficiency (f(n)/n), you get this:
This means that some large numbers of urinals will pack efficiently (50%) and some inefficiently (33%). The âbestâ number of urinals, corresponding to the peaks of the graph, are of the form:
The worst, on the other hand, are given by:
So, if you want people to pack efficiently into your urinals, there should be 3, 5, 9, 17, or 33 of them, and if you want to take advantage of the protocol to maximize awkwardness, there should be 4, 7, 13, or 25 of them. These calculations suggest a few other hacks. Guys: if you enter a bathroom with an awkward number of vacant urinals in a row, rather than taking one of the end ones, you can take one a third of the way down the line. This will break the awkward row into two optimal rows, turning a worst-case scenario into a best-case one. On the other hand, say you want to create awkwardness. If the bathroom has an unawkward number of urinals, you can pick one a third of the way in, transforming an optimal row into two awkward rows. And, of course, if you want to make things really awkward, I suggest printing out this article and trying to explain it to the guy peeing next to you. Discussion question: This is obviously a male-specific issue. Can you think of any female-specific experiences that could benefit from some mathematical analysis, experiences which â being a dude â I might be unfamiliar with? Alignments of periods with sequences of holidays? The patterns to those playground clapping rhymes? Whatever it is that goes on at slumber parties? Post your suggestions in the comments! Edit: The protocol may not be international, but Iâm calling it that anyway for acronym reasons.
No, its a dialog by Vadivelu, in a situation when people think something strange after a lot of big discussions sitting in a room! 😛
Okay . I wish I knew Tamil 😔 . I think I am missing out on a great culture because of that.
Whenever I see Tamil films I am impressed by the scale at which they are made. Take for example Robot (Endhiran). Though the special effects didn't match Hollywood (which is natural because of the budget). Still , they did utilize their resources well. Compare that to Ra.one most of the stunts look like poor 3-D animations.
The snake scene was simply awesome in Robot.
What is the best way to learn Tamil. In case , one is not living there. Do online tutorials work ?
I tried learning bits of German and found a great site on BBC - <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/german/lj/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">BBC - Languages - German Steps</a> .
Is something similar available for Tamil ?
Snake lovers may resent the video. The snake gets PWNED in the end.
Hey, but seriously... Cat lovers get offended as the cat is getting hurt in this!!! The snake might have bit the cat and she's running because of the pain, that might be the end thinking after seeing the video... Don't share it with Cat Lovers...
Hey, but seriously... Cat lovers get offended as the cat is getting hurt in this!!! The snake might have bit the cat and she's running because of the pain, that might be the end thinking after seeing the video... Don't share it with Cat Lovers...
Cats can take care of themselves. Look no one is forcing the snake on the cat. The cat approaches the snake on it's own , kills it and runs away taking it in mouth. Probably it had a great snack in the carshed. Not interfering with nature is perfectly ok.
Hey, but seriously... Cat lovers get offended as the cat is getting hurt in this!!! The snake might have bit the cat and she's running because of the pain, that might be the end thinking after seeing the video... Don't share it with Cat Lovers...
There were 23 cats in my grandfather's house and quite a few snakes in the old tiled roof house. The cats used to do this often. They whack the snake on the head and after it dies (or almost dead) swallow it head first. ஏழாம் அறுவை (The Seven Sick Jokes)
Are you bugged by some unwanted guests, friends who bore you and make you wish there is some way to counter-bore them?? Here I am to your rescue. Put these "kadi" brainteasers to them and I guarantee you they will think twice before coming to your house.
1. Which sea has waves but no water?
B.B.C.
2. Which part of London is in France:
The letter "n"
3. What comes down but never goes up?
Rain.
4. What begins with E, ends with E, and contains one letter?
Envelope.
5. Take one out of 19. It becomes 20 How?
XIX-when you take out 1 it becomes 20
6. If you do it once, it is good. If you do it twice on the same day, though, it's is a serious crime. What is it.
Voting
7. What did the baby corn said to the mama corn?
Where is my popcorn?
The great thing about the internet is that you cannot hear the groans and you need not duck any shoes thrown at you.
Let's discuss : come into my office, i'm lonely. Please note and initial : let's spread responsibility for the screw up Major technological breakthrough: it works ok, but looks very hi-tech. Test results were extremely gratifying : we are so surprised that the stupid thing works. Close project coordination:We know who to blame. Customer satisfaction is delivered assured: we are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
Thats is what we had already learned in our childhood..
This is called
Theory of Timing : If you are having breakfast, biscuit and tea then
Either If you dip biscuit in tea for long time or too short you won't able to enjoy biscuit. Assumption:How much time you dip biscuit in tea, It's depend on temperature of tea.
Well! 😛
If you dip Parle G in a hot cup of tea for a little longer time (> 1 / 2 seconds), then your Parle G will be lying down at the bottom of the cup.
And if you dip a GoodDay Biscuit in the same cup of tea, it will take a little longer time for the same.
Why? Since she mentioned 3 seconds, I said 3G, and this is my reason... How T? What's the reason behind?
Praveen, I wanted to say a little longer. So mentioned 3 seconds, but it could be less than 3 seconds also according to theory mentioned by Anoop. 😛
And by Parle G, Ramani Sir means Parle G + Tea = Parle T.
Right Sir?
Praveen, I wanted to say a little longer. So mentioned 3 seconds, but it could be less than 3 seconds also according to theory mentioned by Anoop. 😛
And by Parle G, Ramani Sir means Parle G + Tea = Parle T.
Right Sir?
I live in Mumbai and there is an area here known as Vile Parle (of course most of you know about it). The place has a factory of Parle . When you pass the factory a brilliant aroma of freshly baked Parle G comes as a pleasant change from the usual rich aromas(i.e fish 😏 ) that you experience in Mumbai. Nearby shops are known to sell Parle G at wholesale rates.
Nope. It was a similar puzzle: 2 friends, waiter, missing dollar. 😛
Hello , yeah , well the point of the joke was that the puzzle consists in not properly doing the addition and hence asking it to a mathematician really irritates him/her.
Nope. It was a similar puzzle: 2 friends, waiter, missing dollar. 😛
Its the missing dollar riddle!!!! 😀
<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Missing_dollar_riddle" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">Missing Dollar Riddle</a>
This happened to me when I posted #-Link-Snipped-#, and much more numbers are there.
Got around 50+ friendship requests. I don't know why some people so keen to be friend on facebook. Its ok, if you know some one by any means you can be friend but if you don't know completely. why??😲
This happened to me when I posted this, and much more numbers are there.
Got around 50+ friendship requests. I don't know why some people so keen to be friend on facebook. Its ok, if you know some one by any means you can be friend but if you don't know completely. why??😲
#-Link-Snipped-#
What's there in this? Okay, there's another friend request, please approve! 😛
Oneliners: The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted. Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. Archeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins. An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. There are two kinds of people who don't say much: those who are quiet and those who talk a lot. They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what? Who's in a hurry ? My girlfriend asked me, "Do You believe in love at first sight"? I said, "At the first sight of what"? Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.. Email of the species is more dangerous than the mail. The last mail is the longest.
I guess, I am comfortable single. There are two reasons.
1. I love girls but I love my money more 😉
2. I don't want this scene-
#-Link-Snipped-# I know you love girls 😍 and do you known - girls like people who love money 😉 and I can see your love for your partner(Figure shows - that you're even prepared to die for your lover 😁) Come on Issue- You rock! 👍 😁
#-Link-Snipped-# Okay guruji but you must know that I'm still a kid. 😒
(By a Programmer... ) Sweetheart , I`ve seen you yesterday while surfing on the local train platform and realized that you are the only site I was browsing for. For a long time I`ve been lonely; this has been the bug in my life and you can be a real debugger for me now. My life is an uncompiled program without you, which never produces an executable code and hence is useless. You are not only beautiful by face but all your ActiveX controls are attractive as well. Your smile is so delightful; it encourages me and gives me power equal to thousands of mainframes processing power. When you looked at me last evening, I felt like all my program modules are running smoothly and giving expected results. /*which I never experienced before.*/ With this letter, I just want to convey to you that if we are linked together, I'll provide you all objects & libraries necessary for a human being to live an error free life. Also don`t bother about the firewall which may be created by our parents as I've strong hacking capabilities by which I`ll ultimately break their security passwords and make them agree for our marriage . I anticipate that nobody has already logged in to your database so that my connect script will fail. And its all but certain that if this happened to me, my system will crash beyond recovery. Kindly interpret this letter properly and grant me all privileges of your inbox. Error free... Regards, Software Programmer Today This company Tomorrow That Company But always want ur company!
This came in the mail:
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned sixty-something.)
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lots of sex?'
'No,' I said...
He looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you want to live that long'
From: <a href="https://theoatmeal.com/comics/state_web_spring" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">The state of the web - Spring 2012 - The Oatmeal</a>
Lucky Guy #-Link-Snipped-# 👍 I regret not choosing Raisoni. 3 more days left!
Atleast you have just three more days.. I have exams till 30th 😔 why can't they finish it soon! they have postponed our exams owing to "Administrative problems". 😛
Atleast you have just three more days.. I have exams till 30th 😔 why can't they finish it soon! they have postponed our exams owing to "Administrative problems". 😛
30th?😲 I just can't imagine that👀 . It seriously makes a case of human rights violation!☕😁
I just wish slide rules replaced calculators 😀 . I'm yet to see a slide rule!
Here is one that you can even use online!
<a href="https://www.antiquark.com/sliderule/sim/virtual-slide-rule.html" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">Virtual Pickett N600-ES Slide Rule</a>
10.) God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.
9.) God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote.
(Men don't want to see what's ON television; they want to see WHAT ELSE is on!)
8.) God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when he wore it out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.
7.) God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment for himself.
6.) God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.
5.) God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle childbearing.
4.) As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he put his tools.
3.) The scripture account of creation indicates Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2.) As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON GOD CREATED EVE . . .
1.) When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, "I can do better than that!"
A lady is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
"I want you to stop eating regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds."
When the lady returns, she's lost nearly 20 pounds.
"Why, that's amazing!" the doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?"
The lady nods. "I'll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" said the doctor.