It's good to have a girlfriend or not ?

Morningdot Hablu · 2010-10-13T03:36:01+00:00

Hello friend's, Many of engineering college student have girl friends. But there is also some student who doesn't(Reason most of the student have EGO problem he didn't like to start 1st). Most time you fell that thing happen to me because i doesn't have any gfriend And also you miss a girlfriend when you are in some tension,attending some college function,in lab,.... etc etc.......and feel the most when you are alone. But also the time comes when you think that you are lucky that you doesn't have any gfriend. . so lets have a discussion is it right to have a girlfriend or not. 😁

Leo

@leo-ZJQlmh • Oct 13, 2010

Buddy if your girlfriend really means to you as a person with whom you and she are ready to have a commitment then it's good to have one, else making a girlfriend just to showoff is not good, it can hurt someone's feelings and it's not good.

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stubbs

@stubbs-wKLK5A • Oct 13, 2010

It's also having a girlfriend or wife. Just make sure that you guys are right for each other. And don't stay in the relationship just because the *** is good because there is no longevity in that. To answer your question: It depends on the reasoning behind your decision. Love? ***? Ego? Loneliness? Your reasoning will let you know.

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Manish Goyal

@manish-r2Hoep • Oct 13, 2010

Hmm
well i don't have any but yes i think one should have girlfriend with whom you can share your feeling
Ah i can't write anymore otherwise my heart will start crying
😀

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Pensu

@pensu-8tNeGU • Oct 13, 2010

I think its good to have a girlfriend. First of all it make you feel good that there is someone special who cares about you and the best part is you are never jealous of people who already have one. I think it also helps you to improve your performance because, you admit it or not you always think of having one and if you don't have someone then you think how to make one.....It consumes a lot of time....😀

By the way nice topic....😉

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Ashraf HZ

@Ash • Oct 13, 2010

I can't believe I'm posting here, but..

Hah! Don't succumb to peer pressure. "Love" (or simply infatuation) is way overrated during student life 😉 Focus on your priorities, and whatever support you need will come from your family and close friends.

You have many bright years ahead of you!

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Leo

@leo-ZJQlmh • Oct 13, 2010

As per my experience no one really supports you until you are doing exactly the same thing others want you to do(Not friends, not even your family). And at last it is just a matter of view having girlfriend is good or bad, also i always found it fatal to express feelings to any girl.
So far as i have seen people i understood when you are really emotional on some matter for long time, no one understands you and people start making fun of you, try to overcome your feelings by yourself than expressing it to others.
And every relationship even friendship needs a commitment, a friendship that bows down to just a quarrel or fight on silly matters, is of no use. Same is the case when you have relationship with a person with opposite ***, don't push yourself in this matter unless you feel you can really give your dedication.

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Morningdot Hablu

@morningdot-6Xuj4M • Oct 13, 2010

Well i think every one take this in positive way.....No one think what happen when there is the misunderstanding develops between them.
.
Well one of my friend goone propose a girl.So he made the situation and decided to propose them in front of cc tv camera in BIZ BAZAR in public place.
It's realy a romantic moment for he and his gfriend.Actually he want to make this a special moment.So that he can remember this day in his whole life.Every one giving some ideas,experience..ect..etc to him.Well he wear my shirt and shoes take a rose hide in the pocket and ready to go there.
.
But you know he just came and close the door.At the night i came to know he is weeping from last 4-5 hours.
Well from that day no one see both of them together.
.
From that day we decided that never make a girlfriend.Well you know who the boy is ...he is a regular topper of our branch.

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Kaustubh Katdare

@thebigk • Oct 13, 2010

mohit007kumar00
From that day we decided that never make a girlfriend.Well you know who the boy is ...he is a regular topper of our branch.

Good. Focus on education and building your career.

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durga ch

@durga-TpX3gO • Oct 13, 2010

once you graduate, you will have enough time to make girl friends or boy friends :-|

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Leo

@leo-ZJQlmh • Oct 13, 2010

mohit007kumar00
Well i think every one take this in positive way.....No one think what happen when there is the misunderstanding develops between them.
.
Well one of my friend goone propose a girl.So he made the situation and decided to propose them in front of cc tv camera in BIZ BAZAR in public place.
It's realy a romantic moment for he and his gfriend.Actually he want to make this a special moment.So that he can remember this day in his whole life.Every one giving some ideas,experience..ect..etc to him.Well he wear my shirt and shoes take a rose hide in the pocket and ready to go there.
.
But you know he just came and close the door.At the night i came to know he is weeping from last 4-5 hours.
Well from that day no one see both of them together.
.
From that day we decided that never make a girlfriend.Well you know who the boy is ...he is a regular topper of our branch.

His idea was really stupid, stop watching silly romantic movies and TV soaps. This shows how stupid your ideas on real life situations. Better live practical and logical.

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Ankita Katdare

@abrakadabra • Oct 13, 2010

I agree with Durga and Leo.

Not sure what else to say :-|

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aj_onduty

@aj-onduty-BvuwMK • Oct 13, 2010

Mmmm... A subject rightly to be crunched and chewed on!
This subject is being treated in the Indian society as a taboo. It was a good move to treat this as a taboo in the olden days, when there was no scope for inter-mingling of the opposite sexes. But nowadays, in the era of mixed classes, "shared" workplaces, this is something to be talked about, parents and kids should keep it as an open discussion, this is no hush-hush stuff in the family, and it should not be treated so. We all have to accept one fact that a person can have his/her best friend only from the opposite sexed(It IS a fact. If you think its not, then you haven't met the right person yet). There are many psychological, biological and God-knows-what-all reasons behind that. Having that special friend should not be considered as a joke. Infatuation cannot be given way. That is why parents and kids should have an open interaction about all these factors, they are the only people who can help in this matter in the right way, not your friends. The other friends are of your same age, may have almost the same experience as much as you had had in your life. So, talking to them is risky, it may lead to a devastated life. Having a girlfriend, who matches you in all aspects, is the best thing you can get in your student life and in the after-student life. They are the best motivators. You will work hard in your life to make your self in a good position so that you can get closer in all aspects. And the end result, a happy and prosperous life. In tough times in your student life, no one else can be a better helping hand than the opposite sexed friend who is committed to you and only to you. If you and your partner live up to each other's commitment, you successfully live up to the commitment of your parents and everyone else who are depending on you. That friend can fire your passion to grow up in life.
Kindly correct me.

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durga ch

@durga-TpX3gO • Oct 13, 2010

@ AJ
well analysed 😛
but I wont support anything like that before you are at least 20 life, there is so much going around , so much of instability and on top of that - new relations , nurturing them and new mental thoughts :-|, and guess what - you have no clue what to expect and where to stop
I don't think its needed.

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aj_onduty

@aj-onduty-BvuwMK • Oct 13, 2010

@durga, Thanks for pointing out! I missed a few points.
Yes, that's what I meant. When you talk about this to your parents, they wont allow you to indulge in, or get committed in a relationship till they think that you are fit to be. This may change from parent to parent. So, from the point you made, I know that Durga, as a mother won't let her kids to have a relation of this sort before 20. This is appreciated, but for you to do this, you should know what the kids are upto.If you have an open 'arena' for them to talk about it, then you don't have to hire a detective or at-least you can stop being 'detective mom'. What do you say Durga?
Yes, a person at the end of the teenage has a nuclear reactor inside that head. Anything can happen, expect the unexpected. They are revolting and really a pain for the parents. But in a situation like this, parents are the people who can be closer to them. If you as a parent can intrude with their permission into these kind of things, they start having faith in you. In some situations, they won't be needing a relation other than their parents. They get more committed to the family.
(P.S.- I owe this to my family, my father is my best friend. He made me aware that I am 22 and I should be committed to not only to the family, but also that someone special.And as all juicy advertisements, he marked a star on it and said "Conditions apply" 😁)

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Ashraf HZ

@Ash • Oct 13, 2010

Girlfriends being more important than friends, proposing in front of cameras, bachelor for life pledges, best friend can only be opposite gender, etc. This thread is quite entertaining to read, really.

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Leo

@leo-ZJQlmh • Oct 13, 2010

Hi AJ good to read your views. I agree with you, i am also 22 and my parents are open to me, they even say me i should have a girlfriend though i don't have one and i don'r believe in marrying a person i don't know. I am not ready to commit myself to relationship until i become little stable but no one can predict what happens next. It's really helpful when your parents are like friends to you and i also agree having girlfriend or boyfriend should not be held as taboo.

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rishi0922

@rishi0922-a2xTAa • Oct 15, 2010

Very interesting debate is going on ..
but sorry guys i have less experience in it ....

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aj_onduty

@aj-onduty-BvuwMK • Oct 15, 2010

I am telling all this from the experience my friends have. I still am not equipped with a hands-on experience on this topic. 😉

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Morningdot Hablu

@morningdot-6Xuj4M • Oct 15, 2010

rishi0922
i have less experience in it ....

Share your experience rishi....!

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Morningdot Hablu

@morningdot-6Xuj4M • Oct 15, 2010

rishi0922
i have less experience in it ....

Share your experience rishi....!

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lovejeet

@lovejeet-etHdkD • Oct 18, 2010

not worthy to have a girlfriend but a friend who is a girl.................................................

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aj_onduty

@aj-onduty-BvuwMK • Oct 19, 2010

lovejeet
not worthy to have a girlfriend but a friend who is a girl.................................................

I don't know your age, I don't know your character, please don't feel bad. No offense please.
With due respect, I would request you to kindly grow up.

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optimystix

@optimystix-4yMPKC • Nov 5, 2010

according to me, rather than running after a girlfriend or boyfriend, its better to focus on the work at hand(maybe your job or may be your education). Having a girlfriend has become more of a fad than an honest relationship between two individuals. It is futile to run after a girl or a boy just because you saw him/her and liked her. There are a lot of things other than just looks that one must care about in a person.
It is often the case that people from the opposite sexes become good friends, start liking each other (thinking they know each other well and blah blah blah) and then start dreaming day in and out about the other person. One must learn to distinguish between infatuation and love, something which I admit is really difficult, but one must train oneself not to over do things when they think they are allegedly 'mad in love'.

As for the question- whether it is good to have a girlfriend(and boyfriend for a girl) or not, my answer is a NO. If one really gets someone who's cosy enough with you and your thinking, then there may be a good chance that you can become good partners and continue onto become life partners too! Its not wrong to have someone with whom you can share your thoughts and memories. Given that kind of a person, life can become really interesting. But getting a girlfriend/boyfriend just for the sake of having one is sick.

There is something called friendship that one must learn to value and not fall into the depths of the pit called as infatuation as it may cause more harm than it may benefit.

Running after a person is a noob thing to do. Do quality work and people will automatically be attracted towards you.

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Ankita Katdare

@abrakadabra • Nov 5, 2010

@Optimystix: Truly a great response.
I really think that your thoughts are well organized and I agree with every single statement you put there.

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Abhishek.Tony

@abhishektony-UB9P93 • Jan 7, 2011

No, its absolutely unnecessary.
During the period of your studies, it is exhaustive :sleepy:maintaining a girlfriend; it consumes a lot of time.
If you feel lonely, try harmless flirting 😉 without stepping into the borders of a relationship...😎
You'll have enough time once you complete your studies..

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narayana murthy

@narayana-z4W16q • Jan 7, 2011

i think some times necessary because we cant share every feeling with friends
in such cases we need a girlfriend to share our happiness and sadness
but consider one thing iam saying about people who are higher than 18

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Gurjeet Singh

@gurjeet-LUX7B1 • Jan 7, 2011

As in my opnion when we are enterinng into the Teenage infatuation automatically comes for opposite person and love starts from friendship whom you believe a lot and i believe depends on the mutual understanding both should have concern first about their carrer studies and focuses first on the what the expectations are from their parents.

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ISHAN TOPRE

@ishan-nohePN • Jan 8, 2011

Believe me,having a girlfriend is just a waste of time.Just concentrate on your career first.You will have lots of time later.

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makru921

@makru921-Am65Ah • Jan 8, 2011

Wow! Hot discussions going on here, and i simply coudnt resist shooting my views😀

AJ has pretty much summed up things in his first post.. It happens quite naturally and its not something in which you can say it is good or bad. There are a lot of gray areas. Of course during college days (beginning of twenties, when the hormone levels are its peak😀) it is quite normal to feel the need of someone to be with you, talk to, go out with, show off in front of your friends and so on. It makes you quite happy and satisfied. But the more important question here, as many had pointed out, is where do we set the limits.

A mutually agreed non-committed relationship does not hurt in anyway. But if the levels of commitment and expectations go to higher levels (which happens without you knowing it, more often than not), it can become a problem. You can easily lose focus on reality and move into a fantasy world, where its all about you and him/her and your life and problems, the worst thing being you will end up believing everyone else is wrong. Now that puts you in big trouble.

Again its all about character. If someone is adamant enough not to get carried away by the relationship, it is okay. I can write pages and pages on this topic (!) but I think I'l stop for now coz I can hear cries somewhere inside myself😀

Bottom line: All said, I still go with the opinion that it is good to have a girlfriend/boyfriend during your college days, even after it, as long as you are able to keep a balance between the real world and your love world😀

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Saijayadeep

@saijayadeep-5PFk4D • Jan 16, 2012

air is everywhere,but still we need a fan to feel it...same theory applies to the student level...love is everywhere(i mean parents love,love showed by same gender friends...)but still need a girlfriend(in my sense girl-as-a-friend )is needed which creates any thing good or bad...and that good or bad is upto the person...but now i can see my friends talking with their girlfriends for hours and hours,feeling to see them,feeling to spend with them going to beaches,restaurants,waiting for replies to the messages,asking money from friends to recharge and all...think once is it necessary and if u feel u are not going out of control and every thing is going normally and asusual...you can have.....and never think to have a girl friend that my friend is having one why cant i?in that sense avoid that kind of mentality to have one...

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Ankita Katdare

@abrakadabra • Feb 13, 2015

Since it is Valentine's day today, many people have been searching for this topic and landing up on this page. ;-)
What do new CEans think about this? Tagging #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-#

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Saijayadeep

@saijayadeep-5PFk4D • Feb 13, 2015

Having a GF is not good when
1.You didnt even settle in life where your parents dream of seeing you as a responsible person .
2.You are simply living in the world of fantasy and went so far from being practical.
3.You are not spending enought time to introspect yourself and also with your parents and family members.
4.You are avoiding all your friends who love to hangout with you and simply spending weekends and all day and night with your GF.

Having a GF is good when
1.Both of u taking care of each other in every aspect of life such as career growth,fun,...etc.
2.You are using the technology in limited way and not spending on mobile phone for chats and talks all night.

If you can able to revert back to work even after getting disturbed have a GF...because many times misunderstandings happen.

If you are able to spend money in limits and not going beyond your limits have a GF..why becoz money also matters.

These are some of the things came to my mind...
(These are just my views and not to hurt anyone if i am wrong)

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Sarathkumar Chandrasekaran

@sarathkumar-FEGRPw • Feb 14, 2015

I had always dreamed about having one to enjoy cute relationship, cute love, care, etc but something stops me to step into real world . Will definitely love my wife to core !!!
Happy valentines day to lucky guys

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Anoop Mathew

@anoop-FRTf1L • Feb 14, 2015

Definitely a question worth analysing.

Here people have spotted examples of having a Girl-as-a-friend and having a Girlfriend.

I believe it should be finding that one person who can love you in your good and in your bad. Your girlfriend and yourself should be in 100% sync. That's when a true relationship is felt. If not you are probably under infatuation or have not found that person yet.

Finding an ideal match during your early twenties isn't easy. But you learn only from your mistakes at times. So a first hand experience is never wrong as long as both of you don't loose focus on your future and career.

There are times when a girl you broke up with could be more valuable to you than you think. Even after a year and you can't get over it, try to patch up, get back your friendship. In some cases you ditch your soulmate without knowing it and you regret it heavily.

A girl who is your close friend is the best shoulder while you best-friend (boy) can only be limited to best buddy.

To those reading, You are lucky if your girlfriend is your soulmate (without sexual meaning of the term as described on wikipedia).

Soulmate can be defined as the person who completes you emotionally, psychologically, not-necessarily physically, hard-core-personally (knows you 100% - including your dirty secrets), and still cares for you. It is often a mutual thing between two persons - A bond.
***Inspired by Paulo Coelho's Brida.

As per my experience, a soulmate is not easily replacable. If a girl can really tolerate all your nonsense and still loves you, don't loose her. She could be your soulmate. Hard to point whether your soulmate will turn out to be your lover, or even if your ex-lover surprisingly still is your soulmate. The later is true in my experience.

Another point that i want to say:- I don't believe in a love with the opposite sex that involves lots of coffee shops, beaches, restaurants, or gifts. One shouldn't set such stupid standards to love. Its silly when you hear breakups taking place because one feels the other doesn't spend time with him/her. Love should be true even if you are far from each other, have to hide it from your close friends (if for some fate you happen to love your friend's sister and isn't ready to tell him about it) or even if it involves just talking to each other and not frequently meeting. Buying gifts isn't my style either. And i have never proposed in the "traditional" manner to anyone yet.

Keep it simple, keep it real. Don't fake it.

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Saijayadeep

@saijayadeep-5PFk4D • Feb 14, 2015

The interesting thing here is i have already commented on this post in 2012 and i didnt see that...and now randomly when i saw this question i replied without knowing that i have replied earlier..What a coincidence!!! Feeling awesome to myself.!!!

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Don Ross

@don-ross-A3oedi • Feb 15, 2015

I don't think people really come into their true selves until their late 20's. Also,you can get trapped into relationships easily so stay on track with your careers. Love will happen naturally. Have something to offer that other person and your future family.

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Shashank Moghe

@shashank-94ap1q • Feb 16, 2015

Every bad decision acts as a high pass filter for future decisions, with the default cut-off frequency set at the last bad decision. Think over it. If you never make any mistakes, how will you filter out the signals with the highest frequency when you really need them? Life is a big data acquisition system, where you keep applying filters with gradually increasing cut-off frequencies, in the process discarding garbage. Do not be afraid. At the end of the day, it is the filter you didn't apply that makes you stay back in the lab, processing the huge chunk of data, trying to differentiate between signal and noise.

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Anoop Mathew

@anoop-FRTf1L • Feb 16, 2015

Shashank Moghe
Every bad decision acts as a high pass filter for future decisions, with the default cut-off frequency set at the last bad decision. Think over it. If you never make any mistakes, how will you filter out the signals with the highest frequency when you really need them? Life is a big data acquisition system, where you keep applying filters with gradually increasing cut-off frequencies, in the process discarding garbage. Do not be afraid. At the end of the day, it is the filter you didn't apply that makes you stay back in the lab, processing the huge chunk of data, trying to differentiate between signal and noise.

True. But that is the most un-romantic way perhaps to answer this question. Geeks might love it.

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Rucha Wankhede

@rucha-9ej7h4 • Feb 16, 2015

Girlfriend..the term these days is used so frequently that its almost become a part of status quo to have one. I believe its really difficult to find and more importantly 'know' the concept of soulmate and true love. More often than not love is confused with having to do with beauty,intelligence,infatuation, affluence etc.Its much more and beyond this.
I am of the view that you just do your thing and give your complete heart to anything that you do,the 'one' just comes in and blends.You don't have to deliberately do things to 'make' a boyfriend and girlfriend at times being what you are not.It just doesn't supposed to work that way.
I think any 'conscious' decision to have or not to have girlfriend defeats the whole purpose of love.Its not something you can own its something you share.

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Divyaprakash KC

@divyaprakash-UywozO • Feb 16, 2015

Ankita Katdare
What do new CEans think about this?

Tuco from movie 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly' (1966)

"When you have to shoot, shoot. Don't talk."

#-Link-Snipped-# Thinks

"When in college to study, study. "

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Mr.Don

@mrdon-92OwlG • Feb 24, 2015

Well, surprised to see this post is still among the top posts in Debate section. This was back in 2010. 😁 Hmm, my life too haven't changed much since then though.

Issue
Believe me,having a girlfriend is just a waste of time.Just concentrate on your career first.You will have lots of time later.

Well, true but just forget about time. Choose one because only the one that you choose will remain with you.

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Void Runner

@void-runner-fcjpGt • Jun 12, 2015

Totally depends on you, but if you're going to go for it, better have an action plan for the next 3 years. If you have not thought about it, by all means stay away from relationships - it won't end well.

When it comes to relationships and marriage - later is always better than earlier - and the later the better. But that's not ALWAYS the case. You have to make those decisions.

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Ataullah

@ataullah-WuxhCV • Nov 13, 2015

Though i have a girl friend i am good in study. I think it depends on you what you think. The person is wrong who say that its a waste of time when you have a gf. The true gf always wants you to do all good things and want you in a good position in a society. And a true boy friend do what his gf say to him. So live positive and you will be a good boy or girl for him or her. I hope you friends understand me what i said..

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