Why Can't Students Take Their Own Personal & Professional Life Related Decisions?

@thebigk • Oct 26, 2024

Oct 26, 2024

1.5K

Based on my observations, I've found out that 99% of the students especially in engineering discipline can't take any major career or personal level decision on their own. It starts right from whether to opt for engineering or not, which branch to enroll in, which college to choose, which subjects to study, which tuition class to join and whether it's really required, what are the career options after engineering, whether one should opt for post-graduate studies, which company to join ...the list is endless.

I've found 99% (I repeat it only to stress the importance) of the students can't take a single decision on their own. Instead of using their own minds, they look what their friends are doing and then blindly follow it. The following advertisement by 'Shiksha.com' highlights this point -

[video=youtube;Uasya8yiiSE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uasya8yiiSE[/video]

I also see the declining level of confidence and growing peer pressure among students. Not wearing helmet while riding a bike is just a small example of it - what will my friends say? My friends don't wear helmet - so how can I?. I believe all are glowing examples of lowered self-confidence.

Is something wrong with the upbringing of today's generation? Have we been 'protected' since childhood that we can't take major decisions of our life on our own? Something is wrong. What is it?

I look forward to your posts.

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ISHAN TOPRE

@ishan-nohePN • May 25, 2011

One of the reasons I think is psychological. We think engineering colleges as an industry with all products should behave in a similar fashion. Parents and in many cases students too, think that there is no other way than the most common which people follow.

Well it is what I can tell in one line. The topic is very big and much can be written and said about it.
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Kaustubh Katdare

@thebigk • May 25, 2011

Or is it that the upbringing deprives the students off their own decision making abilities; or the 'ability to think' in general?

We think engineering colleges as an industry with all products should behave in a similar fashion
. Please elaborate on this.
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zara mari

@zara-mari-EPhIf9 • May 25, 2011

The_Big_K
Based on my observations, I've found out that 99% of the students especially in engineering discipline can't take any major career or personal level decision on their own. It starts right from whether to opt for engineering or not,…
Most students going to colleges were not yet aware of what might be the result of whatever career they’ll choose so they usually ask for guidance, look for current trend, or do what their peers are doing because they are usually afraid to fail alone. At this age, most of them wanted to belong in a group where they would feel more protected. It’s not about lacking of confidence but more of being in a “family” with similarities.

which branch to enroll in, which college to choose, which subjects to study, which tuition class to join and whether it's really required, what are the career options after engineering, whether one should opt for post-graduate studies, which company to join ...the list is endless.
I think in many fields aside from Engineering, has established “learning” for students going to take it. Established learning meaning, after a number of years, a school, course, employing company, etc. have proven themselves so people recognize them and follow them like trend setters (like in fashion industry for designers). If one has proven his name (school, course, etc.) on a specific field like an engineer who became a millionaire, then people would follow his footsteps.
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ISHAN TOPRE

@ishan-nohePN • May 26, 2011

Yes upbringing is one of the reason. I will give a simple example. Even parents say their wards "See, your friend has scored 85-90%"
I have seen some parents who say this. This creates a negative effects on minds of people.

The seats of IITs/NITs are limited and aspirants are many. So students who do not have any interest either in Engineering just because it is a fashion.

Many of us must have seen the movie "Three idiots". It gives the message that do what you want from your heart. Not because there is pressure on you.

Actually not only Engineering but many students are under pressure. Even my parents wanted that I should go to Commerce field as all of my family are minimum commerce graduates mostly well established CAs.

When I cleared, 10th It was indirect pressure. However luckily everyone supported my decision to be an engineer.

However I am lucky enough to see an example. Nachiket Kelkar who is my neighbour, came in merit both in 10th and 12th. It was expected that he also become a octor as his parents. However he took Zoology. People that time thought OH! what a waste of talent! However he is now on a way to become a renowned Zoologist. He chose a profession which he loved.
His parents supported him. They did not wanted their son to merely copy others in doing things. In short they wanted him to be different. Not just another product of education industry.

😀 😀 😀
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Ramani Aswath

@ramani-VR4O43 • Jun 30, 2011

My response has to be necessarily autobiographical. My parents just let me do whatever I wanted. In the mid fifties almost all South Indians wanted to study Physics and work with C.V.Raman. I did too. I also liked engineering. Since the first did not happen I did the second. Very few of my class mates went to any particular area/career as a bunch. The courses were not assembly line activities. We even used to sleep in the department when seniors were doing long experiments to help out taking measurements and such. Huge fun. Not one of my Chemical Engineering class mates did MBA and such. I remember having a very protected childhood with total freedom on decisions.

Virtually the same was true of my wife (also a scientist). We gave the same protection and freedom to our children.

Now that I am 72, when I look back I find that I was right. I really did not have to proove anything to any one. On top of it I have the enormous satisfaction of having done what I wanted all the time.
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Anoop Mathew

@anoop-FRTf1L • Jul 6, 2011

bioramani
My response has to be necessarily autobiographical. My parents just let me do whatever I wanted. In the mid fifties almost all South Indians wanted to study Physics and work with C.V.Raman. I did too. I also liked engineering. Since the first did not happen I did the second. Very few of my class mates went to any particular area/career as a bunch. The courses were not assembly line activities. We even used to sleep in the department when seniors were doing long experiments to help out taking measurements and such. Huge fun. Not one of my Chemical Engineering class mates did MBA and such. I remember having a very protected childhood with total freedom on decisions.

Virtually the same was true of my wife (also a scientist). We gave the same protection and freedom to our children.

Now that I am 72, when I look back I find that I was right. I really did not have to proove anything to any one. On top of it I have the enormous satisfaction of having done what I wanted all the time.
Sir, your words are truly inspiring. But being a well-protected and equally freedom-given youngster, i find it difficult to select a course of my liking, inspite of the ample opportunities in front of me. Engineering has changed over the ages, and now most of the colleges teach only theory. It's like learning the theory of swimming, and once you step into the industry, you still haven't learned to swim.

I'd say the main reason for such a dilemma is because the pace in which the world advances, and the pace in with engineering is taught to us today, do not match. During the time that you've learned engineering, i believe that there were limited resources and hence you had a need to think and experiment. But now-a-days, we fail to experiment as we are so spoon fed with theory, ideas, technology and the latest gadgets, that we fail to find practical solutions to our own mind sets!!! Its as if we do not wish to become an Einstein or a Thomas Alva Edison, because we have whatever we need...

It's like the proverb..."Even too much of something is poison..."
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Anoop Mathew

@anoop-FRTf1L • Jul 28, 2013

I guess new folks can add some points here. 😀
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Nayan Goenka

@nayan-Dhpt4N • Aug 10, 2013

A.V.Ramani
My response has to be necessarily autobiographical. My parents just let me do whatever I wanted. In the mid fifties almost all South Indians wanted to study Physics and work with C.V.Raman. I did too. I also liked engineering. Since the first did not happen I did the second. Very few of my class mates went to any particular area/career as a bunch. The courses were not assembly line activities. We even used to sleep in the department when seniors were doing long experiments to help out taking measurements and such. Huge fun. Not one of my Chemical Engineering class mates did MBA and such. I remember having a very protected childhood with total freedom on decisions.

Virtually the same was true of my wife (also a scientist). We gave the same protection and freedom to our children.

Now that I am 72, when I look back I find that I was right. I really did not have to proove anything to any one. On top of it I have the enormous satisfaction of having done what I wanted all the time.

#-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-# #-Link-Snipped-#
That is truly inspiring Sir. I have my grandfather, who didnt study much but excelled in business. He is 70 and he still has more brains than my dad, 2 uncles, me and my siblings combined. I have a great deal to learn from him.

Funny thing is, people of that generation actually lived their lives. They did what they wanted to. They didn't have technology too advanced at that time, they did whatever they could. They loved and that too in real meaning of the word. Today everything is going to the dogs. Generations have changed and so have their priorities and way of life. And i feel bad to be a part of it. My family never put any restrictions on me. Just like my grandpa lived, I had that opportunity too. But sometimes i feed bad for some of my friends who live in shackles.

There should be freedom of thought on any individual- student or not. But in current environment, we cannot actually trust their decisions.

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Sarathkumar Chandrasekaran

@sarathkumar-FEGRPw • Aug 10, 2013

The story of Ramani Sir is truly inspirational and gives us teaching on how parenting is important in creating a worthy life for the children.Yes we are in early 20's and we ought make mistakes because of low experience and I want to make a note that a person with a good parent hasadvantage over other in terms of decision making because there would be experience of parents to guide you.
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Saandeep Sreerambatla

@saandeep-sreerambatla-hWHU1M • Aug 12, 2013

Oops why did I miss this thread, I have friends and family members who call me for taking decision for them. I used to help them. Since 3 years I am not taking decisions for someone but trying very hard to make them understand that its their damn life and they have to take any decision.

Now, you know the following are the reasons:

1. Fear of failure (They can happily blame others and live forgetting that their life is at stake)
2. Lack of confidence.
3. No balance in thoughts.

I still get calls from my friend's brothers and sisters asking for which branch of engineering is in demand to study.

Above said statements are not only for professional but for personal too.

I have a friend, I dont want to name him but when he was getting married he showed the girl's photograph to all his colleagues and then said yes or no. Same case with buying a car and shifting a company and buying a home.

People just lack minimum confidence to take a decision.
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Jeffrey Arulraj

@jeffrey-xA7lUP • Aug 12, 2013

Well young minds are not confident about their own potentials In short the seriously don't know who they are in the society and so many yer times we find them depending on others for decision making

These decision are not based on their potential and fail miserably
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Nayan Goenka

@nayan-Dhpt4N • Aug 12, 2013

Conqueror
Well young minds are not confident about their own potentials In short the seriously don't know who they are in the society and so many yer times we find them depending on others for decision making

These decision are not based on their potential and fail miserably

They actually lack experience which is important before taking decisions. They have been over protected since start and that has not helped them explore the things themselves. If they would have a taste of themselves at everything, they would be smarter and hence capable.
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Jeffrey Arulraj

@jeffrey-xA7lUP • Aug 12, 2013

well are all the experienced people have the same talent as I do

I am not sure In my opinion each and every one are different and the way they see a problem is much different from the way I see it

So I have to be the decision maker to solve my problem not others
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Nayan Goenka

@nayan-Dhpt4N • Aug 12, 2013

Conqueror
well are all the experienced people have the same talent as I do

I am not sure In my opinion each and every one are different and the way they see a problem is much different from the way I see it

So I have to be the decision maker to solve my problem not others

That is the purpose of this thread, People should make their own decisions and just approach others for guidelines. Today they are completely dependent on others to take decisions for them.
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Sarathkumar Chandrasekaran

@sarathkumar-FEGRPw • Aug 12, 2013

Self realisation is the main thing which we acheive after a long time interval.If there is a proper exposure and environmental encouragement we can challenge any chaos.
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Jeffrey Arulraj

@jeffrey-xA7lUP • Aug 12, 2013

Exposure and encouragement will never be served in a platter

Now a days we have ppl who belittle us than to encourage us

We are our own motivators If we are strong we will rule Else we will suck really bad
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Anoop Kumar

@anoop-kumar-GDGRCn • Aug 12, 2013

It start with when a kid have to give shit about what their relative and neighbors will think, not the family.
Indian mentality is parent are decisive not the supportive.

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Nayan Goenka

@nayan-Dhpt4N • Aug 12, 2013

I dont know if you might know about him, there is this inspirational speaker Sandeep Maheshwari. He speaks about all this stuff in his lectures/seminars and it is actually good. There is one line he speaks there and I believe in that since my childhood.

If you understand Hindi it rightly goes as :

"Sabse Bada Rog, Kya Kahenge Log"
Meaning : "the biggest problem of human life is to worry about how others will judge you"
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Kaustubh Katdare

@thebigk • Aug 12, 2013

Sandeep Maheswari is the guy whose agency provides all the photographs you'd typically see in advertisements. 😀
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Nayan Goenka

@nayan-Dhpt4N • Aug 12, 2013

Kaustubh Katdare
Sandeep Maheswari is the guy whose agency provides all the photographs you'd typically see in advertisements. 😀

I checked that <a href="https://www.imagesbazaar.com/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">www.imagesbazaar.com</a> too. I was looking for some cool images i can use for my project or some miscellaneous activities. When i tried to checkout, DAMN COSTLY.

Coming back to the topic, his inspirational speeches / lectures can help students as well as others to develop the decision making ability.
This is the link to his Youtube Channel.

<a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/SandeepSeminars" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener noreferrer">Sandeep Maheshwari - YouTube</a>

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Kaustubh Katdare

@thebigk • Aug 12, 2013

I wonder how many times he's going to deliver 'the last seminar' ☕. Yes, his talks are inspirational.
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Nayan Goenka

@nayan-Dhpt4N • Aug 12, 2013

Kaustubh Katdare
I wonder how many times he's going to deliver 'the last seminar' ☕. Yes, his talks are inspirational.

his current seminars, cannot be rated into the category with which the one last year was conducted. I think that was his best speech ever. And that business activity also has bloomed a lot
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Apurwa.Thakur

@apurwathakur-8cwdkc • Aug 12, 2013

"We been 'protected' since childhood that we can't take major decisions of our life on our own" may not be right argument of this question.I think it is dis-quality of student that they cant take major decision of life because they cant convince their parent. Now a days student are opting engineering in large proportion ,because of this quality of engineering and engineer decreases .and the student with lack confidence and less knowledge about subject and career are in more number than talented engineers.that why they blindly follow others.
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Kaustubh Katdare

@thebigk • Aug 12, 2013

...not sure if people would agree with me on this - but the biggest reason is that people have given up the habit of reading. The mobile apps, facebook and TV are consuming too much of people's time into unproductive things.

Read about people, success stories and then develop aspirations & goals. Once that phase is done, decision making becomes terrifically simpler.
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Nayan Goenka

@nayan-Dhpt4N • Aug 12, 2013

Kaustubh Katdare
...not sure if people would agree with me on this - but the biggest reason is that people have given up the habit of reading. The mobile apps, facebook and TV are consuming too much of people's time into unproductive things.

Read about people, success stories and then develop aspirations & goals. Once that phase is done, decision making becomes terrifically simpler.

I agree with that completely. Once you know what you want to be, you make a target and start working towards it, One day or the other you will automatically become that. Its a fact.
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Karthik Vyas

@karthik-vyas-TqmYbT • Aug 19, 2013

It is because they are not earning. They are dependents of their parents. From age of 16 itself one should try to start earning by sharing knowledge that they have.Once they do this , they will be bold and strong enough to take their own decisions.

If they depend only on their parents till they graduate , they cant face situations. So they would fear to take decisions.
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mail154

@mail154-dIBzbF • Aug 20, 2013

Just Seeing the Question I'm Replying. 😀

Yes..Students Do Take their Professional life decision based on what the others do. This is completely wrong. It is Somewhat related to threads "Why Indian Developers are of poor quality?" "Do Indian Developers Lack innovation" in CE. This is another classical example why people choose a department,say IT copying from his friends and resulting in the bad name for whole"indian" brand.

As You Asked Why,

1.Lesser Knowledge
Students Don't Know What is the scope for various fields,what is the problem do the people working in the same field facing,what will be the future of it,what are the designations we may have on account of taking the field etc., Due to the Lack of these knowledge,Some third Party Applications(friends) 😀 came in and confuse them. Came-in in the sense may be directly or indirectly.

2.Everyone is different- A lesser known fact

Students Don't realize that they are not the same as their friends. Everybody is unique and different. I Blame the society for this because, it doesn't provide the opportunity to find one's individual potential.So they follow the pattern. They took up what their brothers,friends or sisters took-up as they are successful in their life. They don't understand that their success is not guaranteed as they are succeeded.

3.Fear of New Environment

Hope Most People would Disagree this but most of them fearing to set in to the new conditions, everyone is pairing with atleast one another friends of their friends and taking same college and same group spoiling anyone's interest. Due to these we may find many pairs(sometimes a group) from a same school Studying in same college and branch.
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Prashanth Raj

@prashanth-raj-Mp33rp • Aug 21, 2013

Kaustubh Katdare
Based on my observations, I've found out that 99% of the students especially in engineering discipline can't take any major career or personal level decision on their own. It starts right from whether to opt for engineering or not, which branch to enroll in, which college to choose, which subjects to study, which tuition class to join and whether it's really required, what are the career options after engineering, whether one should opt for post-graduate studies, which company to join ...the list is endless.

I've found 99% (I repeat it only to stress the importance) of the students can't take a single decision on their own. Instead of using their own minds, they look what their friends are doing and then blindly follow it. The following advertisement by 'Shiksha.com' highlights this point -

[video=youtube;Uasya8yiiSE]

I also see the declining level of confidence and growing peer pressure among students. Not wearing helmet while riding a bike is just a small example of it - what will my friends say? My friends don't wear helmet - so how can I?. I believe all are glowing examples of lowered self-confidence.

Is something wrong with the upbringing of today's generation? Have we been 'protected' since childhood that we can't take major decisions of our life on our own? Something is wrong. What is it?

I look forward to your posts.
i frankly think parents are impressed by wages of people who have done engineering ...
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Anand Tamariya

@anand-tamariya-DnfjEX • Aug 21, 2013

Let's assume students are guided by their parents aspiration. So they pick whatever career their parents want. But why don't they get out of it once they are completely on their own?
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Nayan Goenka

@nayan-Dhpt4N • Aug 22, 2013

Anand Tamariya
Let's assume students are guided by their parents aspiration. So they pick whatever career their parents want. But why don't they get out of it once they are completely on their own?
It is not easy to leave something and smart something completely new. And their thoughts are restricted by seeing what others do. They follow, not think. The day they start actually thinking, they will make their own decisions. till then this cycle will never end.
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Anand Tamariya

@anand-tamariya-DnfjEX • Aug 22, 2013

Nayan Goenka
It is not easy to leave something and smart something completely new.
I can understand this logic for professions like Doctor, CA, advocates etc. where they work multiple years under supervision before earning the right to start on their own. But only four years of education is what stamps an engineer as such. So why can't that path be altered for a guy in his 20's. You would find lot of examples of second career in US and UK. Why is this concept almost unheard of in India?
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Nayan Goenka

@nayan-Dhpt4N • Aug 23, 2013

Anand Tamariya
You would find lot of examples of second career in US and UK. Why is this concept almost unheard of in India?
The biggest reason I can give for that is Over population and unemployment. People dont have a single job here and you are asking for multi options.
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Anand Tamariya

@anand-tamariya-DnfjEX • Aug 23, 2013

Nayan Goenka
The biggest reason I can give for that is Over population and unemployment. People dont have a single job here and you are asking for multi options.
Don't give a reason just for the sake of it. Career doesn't mean job alone. A painter, photographer, artist, dancers etc. also have a career - and a far satisfying one.

The question is - once you are done taking care of your responsibilities, why spend the rest of life just cribbing about it and not doing anything to correct the situation?
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