Funny one liners...

1.If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
2.Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right
3.Forgive and forget, but keep a list of names just in case.
4.Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
5.If you jogged backwards, would you gain weight?

😁 😉 :hehehe: 😁 😒 😁 😛 :hehehe: 😁

keep adding if u know any

Replies

Kaustubh Katdare

I don't believe in Miracles. I rely on them
raj87verma88

We have a similar thread if I am not wrong. Y-not will you mind if I merge the two threads.
rishna

oh is it? i did not know that.
yup...its better to merge
rishna

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Differential

Join IT industry, meet interesting people and blame them.
shalini_goel14

Differential
Join IT industry, meet interesting people and blame them.
Ha ha ha Good one Differential.😉
Saandeep Sreerambatla

Differential
Join IT industry, meet interesting people and blame them.
Its good one Differential.

my one liner--

" I took and Intelligent measuring test and the results were Negative "😛😛

" Laugh alone and all others in the world think you as an Idiot "😁
shalini_goel14

English-Scared
" Laugh alone and all others in the world think you as an Idiot "😁
Ha ha ha this one was too good Scared. 😁
Saandeep Sreerambatla

Thanks Shalini 😁😁

I believe it thats the reason followed it. 😎😎😎
rishna

As I said before, I never repeat myself :evil:
Kaustubh Katdare

"It's ok to avoid work as long as you are getting paid"
- Sir The Big K
rishna

Have a bad toothache? SMash your thumb with a hammer
and you will forget about the toothache 😁 :hehehe:
Saandeep Sreerambatla

God must love stupid people , because he has made so many 😎😎
rishna

haha..good one.
But i am not stupind, still God loves me😎
Saandeep Sreerambatla

i just keep on smiling everytime because i dont know what the hell is going on!!!😁😁
rishna

There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know.:sshhh:
Kaustubh Katdare

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
rishna

The_Big_K
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

😁
very smart. good one
Saandeep Sreerambatla

The_Big_K
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

i saw this is signature of someone in CE 😉
CEMember

English-Scared
i saw this is signature of someone in CE 😉
Yes Sir, I guess you are right, it is of shadeslayer

Check the following link::-|
#-Link-Snipped-#
Saandeep Sreerambatla

CEMember
Yes Sir, I guess you are right, it is of shadeslayer

Check the following link::-|
#-Link-Snipped-#

SIR and me ??? great some one called me sir its time to celebrate.
😁😁😁
Saandeep Sreerambatla

Love your enemies ,It will make them crazy 😛😛
rishna

For sale: parachute, only used once, never opened, small stain.😁
rishna

juz while ago i told to my onsite regarding my leave. you know what i exactly told him..

here it is😡
I will be unavailable tommorow as i am on leave, so i will be not available.😳

do post here if you have done or seen any such funny blunders..we'll have fun
raj87verma88

Written beneath the Photo of The Taj Mahal

Come via Agra and you will find Man's greatest erection for a Woman
Saandeep Sreerambatla

Good one patty 😉😉
rishna

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.
Saandeep Sreerambatla

I used to keep open mind , but my brain kept falling out. 😎😎
CEMember

"Trouble here I come " 😛
Saandeep Sreerambatla

" Life is too complicated in the morning"😎😎
rishna

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
rishna

#-Link-Snipped-#:twisted:
YourTechMate

When was the last time when you did something the first time!
Saandeep Sreerambatla

There is one speaker who speaks continuously even if the audience feel bored
The speaker is the Teacher.😁
rishna

YourTechMate
When was the last time when you did something the first time!
Today reading this line for the first time..hehehe😛
good one 😁
Saandeep Sreerambatla

"[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Univers,Zurich BT][SIZE=-1]He who laughs last thinks slowest"
😁😁
[/SIZE][/FONT]
rishna

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but i'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what i meant.

Thinking😉 better read it again😁
rishna

#-Link-Snipped-#
komputergeek

I give 100% at work

18% Monday
23% Tuesday
25% Wednesday
22% Thursday
12% Friday
-----------------------
100% Effort
Saandeep Sreerambatla

I lost my brain a 23 year back 😁
Rifaa

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. :shock:
slashfear

Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colours do you have?
slashfear

Can you do anything that other people can't? Sure, I can read my handwriting!
slashfear

Do you know of a person who parked his car in front of a board which said: FINE FOR PARKING ?
Kaustubh Katdare

I'm so poor that I can't afford to pay attention 😁
rishna

The_Big_K
I'm so poor that I can't afford to pay attention 😁
Haha😁 Good one!
Saandeep Sreerambatla

Biggie you really rock in that sentence.
cpemgirikar

"A beautiful dress is of no use until it inspires

someone to take it off? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?😁😁😁
Kaustubh Katdare

Here's my original; but it goes unnoticed all the time :neutral: -

"It's ok to avoid work as long as you get paid"
- Big K's advice to employees.
silverscorpion

That seems to be a bad advice!!!

But I liked that!! 😀😀
Keep it up!!
Saandeep Sreerambatla

The_Big_K
Here's my original; but it goes unnoticed all the time :neutral: -

"It's ok to avoid work as long as you get paid"
- Big K's advice to employees.

Employees of CE are you there , reading this one??
😉
Harshad Italiya

Love is the Seventh sense which destroys all six senses !!
Rifaa

This is a joke that is a one liner for who ever said it, but to understand it you have to hear the beginning.

This joke relates to our president at the time and another from a very technological country. They were arguing about something and bet that our ones is more advanced in communication. So to justify each other they went to the advanced one's country and started digging the ground and after a few feet they reached a trunk of communication wires that were really old. The advanced president said "see, at that time we had communication".
So they came back to our country and started digging, and they dug like for hours, after finally the advanced one remarked with a grin. "Well, there's nothing". Our president proudly replied. " see, even at those times we were wireless"
Saandeep Sreerambatla

Rifaa
This is a joke that is a one liner for who ever said it, but to understand it you have to hear the beginning.

This joke relates to our president at the time and another from a very technological country. They were arguing about something and bet that our ones is more advanced in communication. So to justify each other they went to the advanced one's country and started digging the ground and after a few feet they reached a trunk of communication wires that were really old. The advanced president said "see, at that time we had communication".
So they came back to our country and started digging, and they dug like for hours, after finally the advanced one remarked with a grin. "Well, there's nothing". Our president proudly replied. " see, even at those times we were wireless"
i heard this , better we posted this on joke of the day thread 😉
suresh.b5992

when u dont know abt a tree, tie a goat to it and xplain abt goat😎 this is d way to answer an unknown question in xams
smita89

"I know kung fu, taekwondo and 34 other dangerous words" 😁
rishna

smita89
"I know kung fu, taekwondo and 34 other dangerous words" 😁
😁 good one
smita89

Well this isn't exactly a one liner, but I read this joke the other day, and couldn't help myself but to post it.

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they discovered that pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 million developing the ball point pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300C.
When confronted with the same problem, the Russians used a pencil. 😁
rishna

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing
rishna

The laziest man searches for the easiest solutions, only if he's not lazy to think.
rishna

No matter how bad we are, we are not totally useless. We can always be used as a bad example.
Saandeep Sreerambatla

The Y-Not
No matter how bad we are, we are not totally useless. We can always be used as a bad example.
This one is cool!!!
Harshad Italiya

He who laughs last thinks slowest.
What's the speed of dark?
Harshad Italiya

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Differential

What's the speed of dark?
It's equal to speed of light. When light comes, darkness runs away with the speed of light.

😀
shalini_goel14

Differential
What's the speed of dark?
It's equal to speed of light. When light comes, darkness runs away with the speed of light.

😀
Ha ha ! Good logic put. 😀
Harshad Italiya

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Harshad Italiya

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue. 😁
Saandeep Sreerambatla

Dont know wheather this is in the list or not ..

I used to keep open brain - but my brain keep falling out.
Harshad Italiya

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Saandeep Sreerambatla

Nobody is perfect , i am Nobody 😀
Harshad Italiya

Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
RajdeepCE

I believe in two rules,

1. I am always right
2. If I am wrong consider rule no. 1

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