suyash
suyash
Branch Unspecified
05 Feb 2010

The laws of work

Read Carefully ... Some may apply to you ...
  • The first 90% of project takes 10% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
  • If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
  • A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt.
  • Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  • It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
  • After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
  • The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
  • You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
  • Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
  • When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
  • If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
  • There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
  • Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
  • Arriving at work early sets an expectation that your less ambitious co-workers will not appreciate.
  • Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
  • Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.
  • To err is human, to forgive is not a part of company policy.
  • Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
  • Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
  • If you are good, you will be assigned all the work.
  • If you are really good, you will get out of it.
  • You are always doing something frivolous when the boss drops by your desk.
  • The people chosen to go to conferences are always the party animals with no intention of learning a thing.
  • If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
  • At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
  • When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
  • Following the rules will not get the job done.
  • Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
  • When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
  • No matter how much you do, you never do enough, let alone too much.
  • The last person that quit or was fired will be blamed for everything that goes wrong.
crook

crook

Branch Unspecified
11 years ago
  • If you are good, you will be assigned all the work.
  • If you are really good, you will get out of it.
😉 loved those!!
shuklrakesh

shuklrakesh

Branch Unspecified
10 years ago
  • If you are good, you will be assigned all the work.
  • If you are really good, you will get out of it.
Really....very good
suyash

suyash

Branch Unspecified
9 years ago
One more to add to this list...

If you work hard and leave late from work, no one will notice...
But if you leave early from work, you will probably meet your manager in the parking lot !! [😁]
silverscorpion

silverscorpion

Branch Unspecified
9 years ago
wow, these are cool man!!

Good job😀
shalini_goel14

shalini_goel14

Branch Unspecified
9 years ago
Hey man, Good tips and very true.

Few from my side also 😉

1. Try to have silent and smiling face at workplace even though you are getting very anger. 😀
2. Don't hesitate in following policy "Tit for Tat" at your workplace. 😛
durga ch

durga ch

Communications
9 years ago
for me:
take as much as you can, help as much as you can, its gets the whole chunk of work complete sooner
Black_Rose

Black_Rose

Branch Unspecified
9 years ago
  • If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would ever get done.
^^ A moto very close to my heart lol.
komputergeek

komputergeek

Branch Unspecified
9 years ago
Really good tips .
David A Russell

David A Russell

Branch Unspecified
9 years ago
I like the phrases below:

Don't expect a different result if you do the same thing! Think different.

How you do anything is how you do everything!

David Russell
Author
www.PhrasesForPerformanceAppraisals.com
himalayan

himalayan

Branch Unspecified
9 years ago
Nice laws of work and very to the point. Thanks! for sharing here.
shruti palod

shruti palod

Branch Unspecified
9 years ago
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day...
😒
whats that??

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