11 Aug 2008

Case Study: What should Sonia do? [Real Life Case Study]

Note: The protagonist (our own CEan) in following case study is actually going through the hell, as described below. By posting this case study for discussion, we will try to come up with the best possible solution to the problem faced by our own CEan. This discussion thread should NOT get any spam messages, so think before you post.

Sonia (name changed) is a second year engineering student. She lives in college hostel away from her home. Sonia is an introvert and has only 3-4 close friends; mostly from her hostel.

About a year ago; Sonia happened to talk to a guy who is her classmate. The talk was regarding studies (exchange of journals). Ever since the talk happened; the guy has been obsessive about Sonia. He follows her wherever she goes, stares at her in the class and even during practicals in college lab. The guy tries to talk to her even though she’s avoiding him. After all his unsuccessful attempts; the guy is now in revenge mode and spreading bad word about Sonia among friends in their college.

This has made Sonia very upset and she’s unable to concentrate on studies. She tried to discuss the issue with only lady professor in her college. But to her bad fate; the lady professor holds Sonia responsible for the guy’s advances. Sonia thinks if she notifies the matter to college’s principal, he will dismiss the guy. She fears it will ruin the guy’s career and the guy might make try to take revenge. That’s why she is not putting up the matter to college principal.

Sonia does not have much support from her parents either. She thinks her mother is very sensitive and should not get even a hint of what’s going on in her daughter’s life. Sonia’s father is not very supportive and she thinks her father might hold her responsible for her situation.

The guy is still making advances and being bolder every day. Sonia is in need of your help.

What options do you think Sonia has? We do not want her to suffer. What do you suggest Sonia should do?
12 Aug 2008
Not a single reply so far? Surprising.
sauravgoswami

sauravgoswami

Electronic
12 Aug 2008
Sonia shud complaint to police about his nuisance,if he still doesnt stops then she shud play with his emotions,an obssessive lover can do anything!!!
ankur8819

ankur8819

Branch Unspecified
12 Aug 2008
The problem is really very critical
I have seen such incidents happening to my friends often and i can very well understand what she might have been going through.The problem with these obsessed lovers is that they can do anything and in all ways you have to suffer .
I think she should first of all clear out the things with the boy that she is NOT INTERESTED..and if the boy still is doing those acts then i feel she should take a bold step of informing the college Authorities about the boy..Hell why to care for a person who doesn't respect your feelings and is indulging in cheap and shameless acts by disturbing her all the time... the boy himself is not worried about his career ..If it wouldn't have been the case he would have understood by far that what he was doing was wrong and his career and the girl's career was far more important..and why am i saying him a love> he is a moron who just knows how to kill his and others time...!!
She can also try and share her problem with her parents...Thats the only alternative i guess..!!! I mean She cannot call some hooligan or gangster to scare that boy...PArents wil definitely understand if told in proper way..I am sure .. !!!
Well best of luck to her... I wish she stays well!!!

@ THE BIG K..!!
Please do let ud know when she is alright!!!
12 Aug 2008
@ Ankur , Saurav :-

As I mentioned in my first post, the girl is an introvert and does not have the guts to take bold steps. She fears that the boy might go hostile if she complains about him to college authorities or the principal.

I'll keep you updated in case I hear back from her.
Differential

Differential

Branch Unspecified
13 Aug 2008
Now here is my opinion on this.........
The girl (Sonia) has to learn to become a bold. Its very tough to live in this world without being bold, otherwise you will be squeezed to death..........
ok.........about the problem.....
First of all, the girl should speak CLEARLY to the guy in question about this ! She should tell what she thinks about him and ask him to quit this nonsense stuff. She should also tell him what she is going to do if he doesn't stop this. If she's afraid to talk to him alone, let her take one of her best friend along with.

Now, in most of the cases this soln should work. One should like talked to him rather complained to other people.

But, if problem still continues she should tell this to Her College's Principal without thinking about ruining career and all that stuff.

Let us know what happens..........
13 Aug 2008
I personally think the girl should be bolder and talk to the guy explaining him how she's being affected by his advances. She should not threaten him or 'warn' him as it might result into the boy going hostile.

This might be a bold step for the girl; but I believe it will help her solve the problem to a great extent, if not completely. I'd like to have more views.
be_apurva

be_apurva

Branch Unspecified
14 Aug 2008
This is wht i think Sonia shud do--

1>Dont talk with d Guy b'coz i think d guy is mentally ill and might misunderstand sonia if she talks to him and might get even more bolder and wil trouble her more...maybe d guy has got really bad family environment..he seriously needs medical help 4m some psychiatrist.

2> d guy feels ur scared and dat he comes 2 know by ur facial expressions and ur actions..Dont pay any attention to dat guy..Just pretend dat he does nt exist at all....wenever by mistake u luk at him dont show u recognized him..dont show horror on ur face...dont hesitate wen u seee him..just fel dat he does nt exist at al..even wen u r passing by a road and u realise dat he is there dont change ur road to avoid him..just be brave n walk thru d road as if
he was nt present there at all..as if he was completely invisible 4 u...

This wil make d guy doubt his own existence..and wil make him feel dat ur nt a coward...mayb wil feel dat u have strong reason of nt being afraid of him

please dont roam around alone.always b with ur friends..wherever u go take ur freinds with u..and if u see him around u pretend u didint c anyone and show dat ur very much engrossed in conversation with ur friends..

continue this 4 a month or so..or til u feel everything is in control..i am asking u 2 wait 4 a mon n not directly go 2 principal or police station b'coz his career is also important...

But even after doin al this u realise he is nt changing then please please tell some1 at home..please take ur dad in confidence.or if dat is not possible
take help of relatives maybe ur maternal or paternal uncle and directly go 2 police station..complain 2 ur principal..He wil surely take some strict actions...he wil get scared n wil nt trouble u..

3>sonia please be brave... the more stronger u get ..d more weaker he wil become.. dont take tension.. try 2 concentrate on ur studies...May God bless u..and give u a lot of strength to fight...and may God give dat guy some more wisdom..

Please keep me updated abt Sonia....
karan16987

karan16987

Branch Unspecified
25 Jul 2011
Re: Case Study: What should Sonia do?

i have just seen this case here and i am really upset by the way all the people offered suggestions. gal shared the problem here blaming that guy but nobody thinks that sonia might have done something which made the guy mad for her. it is just clear no one can mad for any gal without any signal from her. and moreover if she is not telling her parents then this means to some level she is also wrong otherwise she should hhave told her parents. u all tell me one thing if sonia did initially flirt wid him, and the guy went crazy for her. what is the mistake of guy anyone can go crazy like that.
noe coming to the solution
solution is that she should tak to the guy straight forward and make him understand that she doent love her. that guy also need counselling he is suffering from a mental disease called protagonist.
25 Jul 2011
Re: Case Study: What should Sonia do?

karan16987
solution is that she should tak to the guy straight forward and make him understand that she doent love her. that guy also need counselling he is suffering from a mental disease called protagonist.
Protagonist is a mental disease? 😐 Please explain.
27 Jul 2011
The_Big_K
I personally think the girl should be bolder and talk to the guy explaining him how she's being affected by his advances. She should not threaten him or 'warn' him as it might result into the boy going hostile.

This might be a bold step for the girl; but I believe it will help her solve the problem to a great extent, if not completely. I'd like to have more views.
That would be wonderful if it were possible. However, difficult with an introvert, frightened person. She can unbend to a local psychiatrist, who may be able to give expert advise. Can she move out to another college? Too expensive or not possible as per rules?
Can some one else (CE forum for example) take this up with the principal without making waves? Or with the father of the girl? I feel that if the boy is dismissed, it is good riddance and a just punishment. The catch is it may be followed by acid throwing and such violence.

One outlandish option is to lead the chap on in a muted fashion. Let him think that things can be sorted out after the course is out of the way. If at the end the two do find that they are compatible after all, it can be a Bollywood ending.

One thing is for certain. Keeping quiet is not a good option.
X-Engineer

X-Engineer

Branch Unspecified
27 Jul 2011
2 years and the issue is still going on or what..?
Has either of them married...Big K ..Tell if the climax is over.

In my opinion it would have been better to reveal all the things to her parents BOLDLY...PARENTAL SUPPORT IS THE BEST SUPPORT SHE CAN GET

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