Funny One liners

[raj87verma88]

I will right here some funny one liners which people say either due to a slip of tongue or due to the fact that their hold over the language is not strong or because their knowledge on the subject being discussed is not good or due to any other reason. Whatever the case, they sometimes say things that makes you role with laughter.

My Physical Education teacher from school :- "Go to the canteen and check whether the sandwiches are under construction or not"

A maths teacher, she had drawn a diagram on the board, some students were copying a similar diagram from the book :- "Don't see the book, see my figure"

My dog had just come from an exercise session and sat in front of my grandmother, the dog breathe coming straight at her. In disgust she said "Sara din saan leindi reindi hai" which translated into English means "She keeps breathing the whole day"

This one was written on a shop in Panipat, Haryana, India. "Juice Bar. Mango, Apple....etc. All kinds of snakes served here" He meant Snacks.

A student in my class in school, while taking a biology test. One of the question was, What is migratrion in birds. His answer "It is the proccess of sexual intercourse in birds"

I remember, when once a student wrote "He died the snake" instead of "He killed the snake"

Will post more later.

[The_Big_K]

I remember when I was in school, my class teacher once said "Both of you two get out!"

[KINETIC_JOULES]

Lmao! That's funny. On the directions to children's Tylenol, it says "Do not drive or operate heavy machinery"
On the bottom of a Swanson dinner, it says "Do not turn upside down"

[miniy]

Oh...Thats nice..You know once my principal asked "Who is your Name"
And in school I remember my Physical training teacher's words"I have 2 sons...Both are boys..

[Alien]

I remember one of my friend answering this question. Q:Where is Bhopal?? A: Adjacent to Nepal

[gohm]

Alien, that one was funny.

[kidakaka]

Once during my junior college (11th std), our Maths prof. was teaching us the basic concepts of Integration, he obviously overshot the lecture times, as the next lecturer (English), was standing outside, waiting for him to finish.

When he finally finished, he saw the waiting madam, and instead of saying "Do you want to speak to me?" ... he ended up saying ... "I want you" !!

A very flustered prof. had to calm down a class in hysterics.